Yes, I was that girl. I fell in love with a boy at fifteen, and I let him destroy the following three years of my life. I let him take my happiness, and he held onto it for a long time. He sucked the life out of me. I was young and vulnerable and could not see him for who he really was at the time. But, whether you were that fifteen-year-old girl or you are that girl right now at twenty-five, please read this.
When the wrong boy has your heart, you 100% prevent yourself from finding a man who is right for you. You also prevent yourself from flourishing and loving yourself and knowing your own worth. But as soon as you let him go, everything is clear. You are ok. You are more than ok. You are happy and free and refreshed. It's the first day of the rest of your life, and you don't even picture him being a part of it. If you're stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship, I'm here to tell you it's not your fault. You aren't a bad person for simply opening up your heart and loving unconditionally. I am so sorry you lost months or years to someone who only had bad intentions. I'm sorry you spent more nights crying when you should have been laughing. I'm sorry your family had to watch a beautiful girl shrivel up and offer her whole world to a monster.
See, here's the thing. Your life is all yours. It does not and will never belong to another person. You are not defined by any boy or any relationship. Your life is so much bigger than all of that. You could be so influential. You have a bright future. I know you can't see it yet because of this dark tunnel you're in, but when you shove him out of the goddamn way, you'll see that light shining bright as hell. You will see your future, and you will kick yourself for ever giving in to the abuse and the lies and the wishful thinking.
I am thankful, though, for the boy who was wrong for me. He taught me how big my heart is. He taught me how strong I can be and what I can persevere through. He taught me that I am not what happens to me. I rose above the heartbreak, and came out of three years of turmoil a better person. It's been years since then, and I am clean. I have shed that skin, and the only reason I even speak a single word of him is to show myself just how much life can change after I let go of the boy who was wrong for me. If you find yourself in a relationship that is only a web of lies and hurt and abuse, I urge you to step back and reevaluate. You have people who will guide you out of this battlefield and into a happier, healthier life that you never even imagined possible. Go ahead and give yourself the happiness you deserve. Be free!
