So, I graduated. Finally, after two years of community college, and three at my four year university, I am now the proud owner of a Bachelors of Arts in English Literature, with a minor in Children's Literature, the world is right out in front of me for the taking. Currently, I am still trying to adjust to the feeling of no more classes, well at least for a while, graduate school can't wait forever, I still haven't deleted Canvas because I have this feeling that if I do, I'm going to miss something important. I'm still adjusting at home, trying to get myself organized and put together for the next six months before I start grad school in the Spring of 2022. I told myself that this Summer will be one to remember, I don't have to stress about packing my life up in three months to move back to a small town called Farmville, or stress about saving all my money (well I still stress about it but not as much as I used to), so that I can have some to take back to school with me. I am diving headfirst into my career with a part time job working with the Appomattox Regional Library System as a library associate at the Prince George branch. I'm planning for my future, and meeting new people while I do it.
Moving home was an adjustment, initially it wasn't my first choice, I wanted so badly to move to my boyfriend's hometown and begin my life with him, but that is something that will have to wait until we both establish ourselves in our careers some more and save some money. Which, I'm okay with, I wasn't at first but I am not, the weekend trips I take to see him and my friends who live down there are something that keeps me going and gets me through the hard days. Another thing about coming home was, I was truly scared I wouldn't have any friends here at home. But I do, and I'm so grateful for them, they stand by me and have my back no matter the situation.
Life after college seems to be muddled, and you're trying to find where you belong within the world outside of the bubble of your small college town and classes. I came home knowing that some people and I had grown apart and I had to come to terms with that once I moved home. Growing and changing is apart of life and even though it was something that blew up in my face initially and I still don't know how to feel about it quite yet, I am making my way towards the light at the end of the tunnel and I can begin healing. Throughout all of this my boyfriend has been my rock, and has helped me realize so much about myself, and how I deserve to be treated by people.
Throughout the last semester of school, I often wondered what it would be like to not have to worry about classes or grades, or professors, and while it is an amazing feeling it is also something quite foreign to me. Everyone who knows me, knows that I worry, a lot, over the smallest things sometimes and it is one of my worst features. I stress over everything and while it hasn't killed me yet, a goal I set for myself this summer is to channel all that stress and anxiety I tend to feel and put it into working out and bettering myself physically and emotionally. I let my self-care and my mental health fall by the wayside these last few months and I'm determined to get myself back to when I was the happiest. I'm not saying I'm not happy now, I am, I feel like I'm the happiest I've been in a few months! But I know I could be better about my body and my mind, so that is one of my goals this summer.
My other goal? Just to have as much fun as I can, make all the memories I can and live in the present. I love to take pictures so this summer and the rest of this year I am going to be using my polaroid and disposable cameras to capture moments that I love without the use of my phone. I will take pictures with my phone too but I miss the feeling of waiting for those photos to be developed and to see the memories physically in my hand. I am going to stop worrying about my future, and what everyone else is doing, but be present in my now and enjoy what is right in front of me. I am so grateful for the people I have in my life right now that push me to do better and to be better. These are the people who also have no problem laying around and watching iCarly on Netflix, but can also go out to a restaurant and order eight jello shots and race to finish them with one another. I love those people, and I can't wait to make more memories with them as the years go on.
To put it briefly; life after my undergrad years seems to be an adjustment period, which is okay, this is a time to grow and to try new things and make mistakes before diving completely into adulthood (I only consider myself a mini adult, and will continue to do so until I hit twenty-five). I am ready to take on all that life has to throw at me this year and everything else it has to offer me as I grow and change.