September is Suicide Awareness Month.
In July 2020, I attempted to take my life. I was just finished. With stress, bills, the weight of the world on my shoulders. I felt like I had no other way out and that my only rational option to get out of the mess I was in was to simply end it myself. I'll spare the details. But it landed me in the hospital for seven days.
I spent the first two days in the ER, hooked up to IVs under constant watch. I was in and out of it so much that I don't really remember much. Then came the psych hall where I spent the rest of my seven-day stay. Within those days I had a lot of time to sit around and think about my life. At first, I was so mad. Mad I was still here and in the situation, I was in. But I started calling my family on a regular basis. I started going to group therapy and talking to any staff I could when I felt like I needed to. They stabilized my meds and after those five days, I was evaluated by my doctor as good to go.
After my stay, my constant phone calls to home, talking to staff, and hours of therapy and talks with staff, I felt refreshed. I was glad to be here. I was so relieved to see my mom waiting for me at the door.
I'll never forget how the sun felt on my skin for the first time in a week. It felt welcoming, warm, and free. I was free.
Life after my attempt changed drastically, in positive ways. It altered every way I see the world for the better. I appreciate life so much more. I know my family loves me. I've even started dating again and found someone who understands my old situation and is willing to grow with me.
Life is too good to let go. Life is too precious to try and take away from yourself. Don't cut your life short. This life, you get one. Live it. Learn good coping mechanisms. Smile a little more, travel often, and grow a little more every day.
Life is good when you give it a chance.
If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255