Recently, I have been seeing a game on Facebook that my friends have been sharing in which you let the computer randomize a status update about your life in 10 years. This got me thinking about where my life will actually be in that time and I started thinking of everything that could go wrong, everything that could go right, and everything I might want to change so that the bad things don't happen.
We all sit and daydream once in a while about where we will be in the future, especially when we sit in class contemplating whether or not dropping out is a solid choice. The worst part about not knowing where you're going is that you don't know if what you're doing is the right thing or not. One thing that I have learned is that you cannot keep looking at the things that you might be doing wrong or the things that you question in order to justify your uncertainty. I am a generally uncertain and insecure person. I will be constantly seeking validation for every little anxious thought I can come up with. Did I do something wrong? Is there something I can do to fix it? Do you hate me? Should I shut up now? The notion that this is completely stupid also applies to wondering about where you will be in five, 10, 15, even 20 years down the line.
I seem to have all of my deep thoughts when I sit near water, which happens frequently in Florida. I was recently procrastinating writing a paper when I had the thought of where my life would be in ten years after I watched some wedding pictures being taken and I teared up. I thought of all of the possibilities and impossibilities that crossed my mind and whether or not it was what I wanted and how important it was. My head began swimming and I began thinking in a negative direction. Once I started doing this, I wondered: if I could change any of these seemingly detrimental things that could happen in my life, would I? Of course I would! Anything to improve my life! Wrong. That answer is so incredibly wrong that I can't believe I even thought for one second that I would ever do such a thing.
What many people don't understand is that we cannot change our lives. Theoretically speaking, if we could go change something in the future, that would technically mean that whatever we were seeing that we wanted to change is actually the product of what we attempted to change and it would just keep going in a crazy cycle and you couldn't actually change anything. This is completely confusing in every way, but that's not the point. The point is that even if we could look ahead into the future, we shouldn't try to change what we can't control. Things happen the way God intends them to happen. Stressing over one little thing will never get us anywhere.
I have made the mistake in the past of looking into the future too much. I think about what is to come and what I need to do to improve my life in the future, but I was completely missing what was right in front of me. A good friend of mine gave me some advice that I am too stubborn to admit is actually good. I have to be focused on living now and not caring at all what other people think because this is life. It happens. Nothing is ever going to be perfect and people will come into and out of our lives for reasons that may not make sense at first, but they are wildly important.
When you consider what you're going to be doing in the future, instead of thinking of what you would change, I would encourage everyone to just appreciate that you're here in the now. Look at what opportunities and people and experiences are right in front of you and make the best of them. This moment will never come again and there is no feeling worse than the regret of missing a hug from an old friend, the birth of a child, the unfortunate breakup that you hoped wouldn't come, or the death of someone close to you. Don't think so much about what you would change and instead think of what you're doing in that moment and how you're going to use that time to take advantage of the blessing that is life.
