This morning I zipped up a black gown, settled a mortarboard on my head, and lined up with four hundred and some classmates — some of whom I’ve never seen before in my entire college career, others of whom I’ve grown to love dearly. I shook faculties hands, collected an empty folder representing the diploma that will, I can only hope, be mailed to me soon. And just like that, I ended four years of striving and failing and growing and achieving. And now, with my newly-official intelligence fresh and shiny, I’d like to point out a few lies we’re all told about graduation.
Lie #1: The mortarboard
Your cap is probably the most attractive headgear you’ll ever wear in your life. Also the easiest. Don’t worry about duct tape, super glue, bobby pins, or any other extreme solutions. That one-size-fits-all, flat square is going to settle onto your head without any negative effects on your hair. Your ears definitely will not stick out, and the cap will stay in one place for the entire ceremony.
Lie #2: The tassel
Your tassel will not annoy you. It will not swing or twist, it will not tangle with your hair, and it certainly will not keep slipping in and out of your peripheral vision. You will not think it is a bee and futilely try to duck away from it.
Lie #3: The solemnity
You will be quiet and respectful, awed by the gravity of the ceremony. You will not crack jokes about your tent-like robes or make sarcastic remarks about the number of professors in Harry Potter-esque robes. There will be no whistling or screaming and certainly no remarks muttered under the breath during various speakers’ words of wisdom.
Lie #4: The memories
You will remember this moment for the rest of your life. You will be aware of every momentous step; you will hear your name with ethereal clarity and feel the moment in slow motion as you cross the stage, shake important hands, and collect the most expensive folder of your life. You will not get lost in the shuffle of black robes and hats.
Lie #5: The relationships
You will hug every friend you graduate with. You will cry and share precious memories and admit out loud all the heartfelt emotions you’ve felt over the past four years. You will be entirely sincere.
Lie #6: The legacy
The speakers will not hold your attention. Sitting for two or three hours is simply too long, and after four years of lectures, you will have lost the ability to absorb any more meaning. You will not feel your soul moved at professors’ challenges to make a better world, to challenge injustices, and to use your education for the benefit of others. You will be bored by the legacy handed down to you.
In fact, the truth is that almost everything you’re told about graduation is a lie. Not intentionally, but almost everything you’re told is a generalization. It’s about an average, and you are not an average. You are an individual with a unique perspective, and your graduation will be different than everyone else’s because it will be yours. You will see it through the lens of your own previous experiences. In the end, there is no right or wrong way to graduate. There is only this truth — that in graduating, you have achieved something, and that in going forward, you will continue to achieve.
So, congratulations — congratulations to us, the graduates of today, and to you, the graduates of tomorrow.
