Catholicism, although rarely discriminated against in America, has a tumultuous and controversial history and can strike the wrong chord with several people. Like any religion, the actual practice of the traditions and beliefs varies widely from person to person. Despite the individual aspect of religion, however, the faith has some loud beliefs about homosexuality, abortion, and mental health that do not allign very well in a liberal setting. In the same vein, several liberal attitudes and opinions are extremely frowned upon in the Catholic church, and there is sometimes a culture of feigned acceptance on behalf of both sides. As a practicing Catholic with very liberal ideals in my daily life, I struggle to find a balance between my religious beliefs and my personal ideology. And if my own internal conflict with these polarizing identities wasn't enough, I find that the way other members of each community perceive me to play a large role in this internal battle.

Since I attended a predominantly liberal university in a liberal city, I am oftentimes relieved to find myself surrounded by generally like-minded individuals with whom I can engage in intelligent conversation without the risk of feeling judged. However, what sets me apart from my friends and peers was that I went to church every Sunday and had rosary beads on my bed frame. I was open about my commitment to prayer and about the fact that I did have a relationship with God. However, I did understand that some of my friends did not have the best experience with Christianity growing up. They had broken free from the strict rules and traditions that they did not feel comfortable in, and they were excited to be able to express themselves among a community of people who shared very similar opinions about the religion. I struggled to find acceptance in these environments, not because I was treated any differently, but because I was confused about how I should express myself. Although it was important to me, I didn't view myself as a very religious person. However, my friends viewed it as one of my defining characteristics simply because it was one of our differences.

A major reason why my friends' and peers' perception of me came as a shock was because I never felt quite Christain enough in my church environments. The teachings in sermons and homilies sometimes left a bad taste in my mouth. Off-handed comments about the opinions I secretly held were hurtful. I wanted to feel at home in my church, but even before I exposed my "taboo" beliefs, it was already made clear to me that those beliefs and the people who held them were not welcome.

The contrast between being "too Catholic" in one environment and being a "fake Catholic" in another is something that has followed me throughout my college years. It can be challenging to reconcile these two very different identities. But at the end of the day, both aspects hold a very high significance for me, and I have met several religious people who share my opinions and grievances. Through this experience, I have learned that no one can possibly conform to all the norms of one community. We all have varied interests that fit with varied groups of people. When I am interacting in a specific environment, I try my best to focus on what brought us together rather than what takes us apart.