Of the five senses, hearing is one of the most important to some people because knowing what someone is saying is not always enough; sometimes it’s important to know how they say it. However, although most people can hear, many do not listen. These people don’t open their minds to the opinions of others, clinging desperately to their ideas without considering the logic of another’s or the flaws in their own. Even those who do listen are capable of slipping and often experience a selfish moment when they lose sight of the differences between themselves and their fellow humans, and they must work to make it right again. Sometimes it takes a momentous event for people to come to that kind of realization, and sometimes it’s something rather small. Either way can lead to a good outcome, as only in that moment can they learn and better themselves, and the ability to listen and understand the world around them will flourish. A wiser person than I’ll probably ever be once said “For each of us there comes a moment. A defining instant in our lives when we are changed forever.” This is the story of my moment.

Often throughout my first semester on campus, I observed a student being ridiculed for his opinions. He was very knowledgeable and clearly not afraid to speak his mind. If he found that someone’s argument didn’t have sound logic – even the professor – he said so. Once, he, a Christian, tried to correct a pagan on their own religious beliefs. Some other students weren’t pleased with this behavior, but most of the time, I found it quite refreshing. When so many people simply go along with what everyone else is doing, it can be a good change of pace when even one person is willing to question anything and everything. It’s easy to hear what people like him say, as they tend to speak up loud and clear whenever the opportunity presents itself, but it can be considerably more difficult for some to actually listen to what they say – to take it in and really think about it.

Too many times, I heard the phrase “Oh my God, just shut up,” being muttered under the breath of those around me whenever this student was speaking. It can be difficult to concentrate on what someone is saying when there is another sound nearby, especially when that other sound is closer. It’s even more difficult to pay attention to what both parties are saying and retain that information, but I did it. Why? Because I didn’t understand why people were reacting that way, or why adults would make the conscious decision to come to a place of learning and then reject differing ideas. My philosophy was quite different: I wanted to know; I wanted to understand.

At first, I simply listened. I gathered information. I didn’t agree with what the students were saying about our fellow classmate, but at that time I didn’t defend him. I didn’t think I had a reason to – I considered myself to be merely an outsider listening in. In hindsight, I think that was probably wrong of me. Observing would never be enough, however, and I finally had to ask questions. Honestly, that made me even more confused than I had been when I started. It seemed like no one knew why they didn’t like him. There was no other “reason” if it can be called that, for their contempt for this man than the fact that he disagreed with their opinions. One person I spoke with said that “all he does is read.” I pointed out both that I had seen him participating in activities around campus, and that I, too, spend a large amount of time reading. I love to read. I love knowledge. How does one scorn knowledge in a place for gathering together in pursuit of knowledge? I admit, I still haven’t found an answer to that question.

It was that conversation that made me think back to my own experiences in that class. Whenever we had a group discussion about a topic, most of the people in my group were either unwilling to talk or claimed they didn’t understand the material, though they never asked questions or seemed to make any effort to understand. One person was very much the leader in the group, and he took it upon himself to make all of the decisions. I didn’t always agree with what he said, even while everyone else just went along with it. Somehow, it seemed that any time that I tried to explain my own views, the others would find a way to twist my words back to their own idea. No matter how many times I tried to correct them, they rarely accepted what I said. When the professor asked for our interpretations of the historical documents we had read, the group “leader” always told him that we all were in agreement, even if not all of us were, and if the professor told him that what had been decided on was not entirely accurate, I would jump in with what I had thought from the beginning. I was proud of the praise that I often received, but in gaining it, I had become isolated from the others; I just didn’t notice at the time.

I had not intended for emotion to be a factor in my investigation, but in remembering my own problems with the same students, I felt not just sympathy, but empathy for this person with whom I had no contact outside of class. It doesn’t please me to say that I don’t handle emotions well, and this changed the situation drastically. I immediately stopped thinking about it; I stopped wondering. As if that weren’t bad enough, I also stopped listening, and I found myself becoming annoyed as easily as everyone else in the class. Eventually, I complained aloud to another classmate about him because he had contradicted something I had said on our online discussion board. That person whose knowledge of their own religion he had questioned? That was me, but I didn’t even read the entire argument. That had never happened before, and I was horrified at myself. I realized in that moment that I needed to change.

I’ve been in a college environment for three years now, but really it doesn’t take long to recognize those that are here to listen and broaden their minds and those who are not. Liberal arts are about learning and understanding, but the idea is not embraced by everyone. I think that college attendance has become so ingrained in our society that the original intent is somewhat lost. People come because it’s what is expected of them by society. Yes, it’s important to get a proper education, but for those who refuse to listen and take meaning of what is being said – and have no intention of changing their ways – there really is no point.

I don’t want to be like the others, those who cannot get past their own selfish minds to try to see the world from someone else’s point of view, those who hear but do not listen. For me, all it took was one small incident to realize that I was in the wrong, and I consider myself lucky because of it. True, I never really did find the answers to my questions, but I like to think that I am better off without them. I experienced both sides of the matter first-hand, and I got the chance to decide which of those sides I wanted to live on. I don’t think that many people get that opportunity. I love to listen. I’m good at listening. I will not give that gift up so easily again.