Many would argue a year is an insignificant length of time in the big picture. Many would argue wasted time is more important when you start adding on multiple years, maybe even decades. But I personally believe time spent with others is valuable. You only have so much time to dedicate to your life, and you can never really know if you're dedicating it to the right people.
Sometimes people are your safety net. They're always there for you, at any time of the day. They can be your connection to home, to another part of your life. They can be the one thing that you're confident within your life. But a safety net isn't always healthy and a safety net is not a reason to stay with someone.
I clung to a safety net for way too long. I don't regret the time spent with that person, but I do regret the other relationships I missed out on and the experiences I'll never get. I regret a semester of giving in and not standing up for what I wanted because I hoped I was making the right choice. I regret not living life at college to it's fullest until I realized what I really wanted, already too late to get that wasted time back.
Along the way, I learned some of the signs when I should've realized that I wasn't dedicating my time to the right person. I've been told I rely on the opinions of others too much but your friends have an outside view on your life. If they know you well enough, and my roommate sure did, they might just have that extra push you need to realize that you're not really happy with your safety net.
I learned that repeating the same mistakes over and over again is the definition of insanity. I always believed that it would be different the next time. I always believed that it would never happen again because I wanted it to work. I didn't want to lose what I had going for me, no matter what else I had to sacrifice. But there is no such thing as a fifth chance, there shouldn't be. You should give people the benefit of the doubt and a second chance, but don't let yourself get taken advantage of.
Especially, the person you have dedicated time to is not the right person if they don't understand change for the better. People grow, especially over a year and in a new environment. I wanted to change, I yearned for it. But my safety net didn't, and that held me back. Find a person to dedicate your time to that fosters growth and changes with you. Build a life that you both are successful and happy in, and your time will not be wasted.
In the end, I loved my safety net, and I still do. But the sacrifices for personal growth and well-being are much more important. I wish I could get that year back but I can't. I'm ready to make this next year starting now count for everything I've lost, and I'm thankful for those that are still with me that I get to share that year with.
