This is an open letter to the person I thought was my "forever friend." Although our friendship has long ended, I felt there were words unspoken, words I will probably never speak, so I did what I do when I have heavy thoughts: write.
Let me begin by saying I hope you and your family are doing well. Although we left on bad terms, contrary to what you may think, I've never wanted to see you anything but happy. Our friendship was very important to me. If someone told me two years ago that we wouldn't be best friends anymore, I would laugh in their face. I remember meeting you for the first time and even and the first time you told me a secret. You told me your secret and I asked you, “Why you were telling me this?” Your response was, “Because we're best friends," and we were.
You were the mustard to my ketchup. The peanut butter to my jelly. The A1 sauce to my steak (because you eat it with everything). Our friendship was never perfect, but despite the time we were away from each other, we always picked up where we left off. Our lives were so intertwined. After five years of friendship, I suppose that's expected.
I distinctly remember the exact moment I knew our friendship had changed. I was distraught and hurt because I couldn't comprehend why, then realizing all things happen for a reason. What made it even worse is that you'd see me and ignore my presence. You acted as if nothing had ever happened, as if I had never been a part of your life. It's OK. I've grown from this experience. I, too, have found peace within myself to say your name without emotion and to see you and restrain myself from greeting you like we did for years. I no longer find myself lingering on how this could have been prevented.
You, yourself, sweetheart, taught me that people believe what they want if it seems believable. Sadly, you believed something impossible. You also taught me, when in doubt, don't. Maybe that's why you didn't care? I do not know. Yet, that, too, is OK. I've forgiven you for it all. Relationships are blessings or lessons. Your friendship happened to be both. You showed me friendship, yet, taught me that aspects can change at any moment without warning.
Thank you. Thank you for the years you were my best friend, confidant, and my right hand. I will never forget the times we had. They will always be among some of my favorite memories. Lastly, thank you for leaving my life. You taught me that sometimes the hardest goodbyes are least expected, and that the closest people to us are not always intended to venture with you on your next journey. I'll always have love for you, but I'm letting go. It's time for me to redirect the energy I've been using to try to comprehend our friendship breakup into the relationships I have with people who are a part of my current journey.
Best wishes.
Hope this finds you somehow.
