After going through my high school years, I learned that junior year can be the season for major changes. I came in eight weeks after what was a summer of unexpected growth that made me prepared for some heavy blows. Love has got a way of letting you know when it's time to hold on & time to let go. Sometimes, you have to give up what you want to get what you need. I did & I have never felt so great.
My inner sanctum was reduced to the privacy of my four walls plastered with purple; isolated, by choice, in a tower that happens to provide a wide view of the outside world giving the opportunity to reset, rethink, and reposition. INFJs are the introverts who can act like an extrovert but still need their alone time to rejuvenate. This must be what the best of both worlds is. Countless hours have been spent in my room but it is so worth it being able to stand tall alone when reality happens, not having the fear of missing out take control of my actions ever again, & knocking out classes strong.
Relationships are like glass; it's not worth bloody fingers to something that is beyond broken. That bittersweet comfort of knowing that you can let go and take the weight off your shoulders. No one person in your life should define value, happiness. I feel that toxic people are stepping blocks who lead those who bring out the best in us. When one door closes, another door opens and this door came swinging wide open to where my smile is bigger after somehow falling into this circle of mutual support & affection that makes me feel amazing about myself.
I got to go through that transition and it was only my fifth day back on campus. I got to experience what real love is supposed to be in a friendship in this person's absence.Tears were shed, elements were altered, and I'll always have the memories but I'm finding out what I am truly capable of. You never see how much anxiety, depression or pain you had in that materialistic item, that habit, or even that relationship/friendship that didn't work out until you let go then come to the personal decision that you never want to be back in that place.
Some of us are holding onto things from way back when & get confused about why we're so anxious. It doesn't help you or anybody so why carry this dead weight? One is a lonely number, it kinda makes you wonder how starting back at zero can feel so nice but it feels just right. Once you realize that you deserve better, letting go will be the best decision you've ever made.