I held on. I held on tight for what now seems like an eternity. I held on to what I thought was making me whole. I held on to the confusion, to the tears, to the unknown. I held it because I thought it was what I needed.

I lied to myself. I made myself believe I was happy. I had everything I always wanted, how could I possibly be unhappy? I looked myself in the mirror and lied straight into my own eyes. The worst part? I let myself be consumed by the people and things who could care less about me and who I’d become.

But then, something happened. Something clicked and eventually,

I let go.

I didn’t want to let go. But I did. I let go of what was holding me back. I let go and slowly but surely began to breathe again. Each passing day revealed a new reason to be thankful for letting go.

I looked back. I looked back at what had changed and who had changed. While looking back I learned that even though the past held its restraints on me, I was still able to let myself free.

It was not easy, letting go of a love I thought was real. But since then, I’ve learned that my ability to love so fully is by no means a flaw. If anything, I am blessed to be able to feel so deeply. I am blessed to know what it is like to love with my whole being.

I now understand that letting go of what is holding me down is a lesson I will continually have to remind myself of.

I am human. A human who makes and learns from mistakes. A human who will continue to love fully even if it means getting hurt.

I am confident in my faith. I am confident in who I am. Yes, there will be struggles along the way and I’ll want to run from what my heart is telling me. But, I will let go. I will learn that I will be just fine because a heart that loves fully is a heart that will never accept less than it deserves.

A heart that loves fully does not give up.