I never knew how hard it would be to move away from the people who annoyed me the most until I packed my bags and actually took those first steps out the door.
Growing up, I was always planning for my future. I was easily excited knowing that I knew my career path, my college choice, and even where I wanted to live in my future and get married. Although those things are mildly disoriented now, I mostly believed when I left I would have nothing making it hard to stay.
Although some of that was true, the old saying yields true--"Home is where the heart is."
When you have siblings (especially close to your age) you are used to constant chaos, yelling, and laughing until your eyes water. You grow up fighting over clothing, being overprotective, and always having someone watch your back... Even when those eyes are looking down on you, or up at you. You become a person who finds the most uncanny things to do when it's a lazy summer day and everyone is bored but at the same time don't want to get out of your pajamas. When you have siblings, they are not just your brothers and your sisters. They are movie night friends, road-trip accomplices, and secret keepers. My first best friends were the ones I lived with, and I had no recognition of it until they were gone and I could actually hear what it is like to be completely silent in your home.
My mother was notorious for planning events and for always having dinner cooked when I got home. She was always laughing, singing, or making jokes, even when she had worked for hours on end with tired eyes. She is the strongest person I know. She was there when I was sick with medicine and all the right words. She took on all my bad qualities and always realized that there were good parts hiding under them. She was my counselor, my provider, and my biggest fan. Even being 200 miles away, she still finds a way to cheer me on.
My father was a stern man with a soft heart. I always thought that he was able to fix anything, although most of the time he was probably just playing guessing games like I find myself doing now. He gave pieces of himself to every person he met, and was hungry for knowledge in the way that I can only attribute to my determinism now. He always possessed the sarcastic comments, the little jokes, and the wise words. My father kept me going even when the road sometimes got hard to travel on. He overcomes obstacles every day that are unimaginable but noteworthy because of his soul. I can only hope I am the same way when I take on my future that is quickly whirling toward me.
I took all these different parts of all these different people with me, and I had no idea that I would become so much like my family some day. To you all, I hope you know what an influence you have on me. To those who do not have a family like mine, I only hope you can find these qualities in a friend, a significant other, or even a stranger. Without them, I never would have appreciated the weird, the unconventional, and the strange.
Even though I miss them like crazy sometimes, I know I have to keep pursuing my journey of figuring out myself. To my family, you drive me insane most of the time. I can't name the amount of times there have been screaming matches, silent treatments, and ignored text messages. Just know that now, I would give anything to have those things back.
