Previously, I wrote an article about one of my friends who is anonymous but hopelessly in love. The epic love story didn't have a conclusion and it still doesn't but there have been shocking new events. If you missed the last article, this one won't seem as epic as it truly is so catch up by clicking on the link below.
https://www.theodysseyonline.com/letters-from-girl-stuck-in-love
I still have permission from all the writers whose work I used, everyone is anonymous and all their names are made up. Monica writes all these letters and notes to help her figure out her feelings and she doesn't write them with the intent to show them to anyone but she lets me use them to share her story. She does actually withhold a few to give you an idea of how much she writes. We left off as Monica told Robert to stop flirting with her or break up with his girlfriend. It was supposed to be the final ultimatum but it didn't work and she didn't stop talking to him so here comes round 2. The difference between this letter and the last one in the previous article is that in the last letter she gave up hope and in this letter she's finally trying to move on.
Dear Robert,
I'm sorry for everything. Sometimes I wish you were too because then it would be easier to leave like I know i need to, but never have the courage to because you're still there like nothing has changed. But everything has changed. I have changed. Sometimes I think what I want has changed too but this thought is too scary to comprehend so I try not to entertain this idea. Even though I fear deep down that this may be true, and that scares me more than anything else could. It feels like giving up and moving on which though this may be smart, is not what I thought I wanted and I don't want things to change. I like them the way they are and so many other thoughts that are hard to put into words. I hope you understand because I sure as hell don't because even as I write this I think 'Could this really be true or am I just lying to myself again?' Telling myself what I think I need to hear, or it may be true. I don't really know at this point which is weird and scary and misleading and not in any way related to Calculus class.
- Monica
Monica didn't move on because that's just part of her lovely, yet indecisive personality. She did talk to me about noticing that Robert has been acting weird. She said he's quieter than usual and she thinks something is wrong but he doesn't want to talk about it. In the next letter she mentions a new boy named Edward who is just a friend from the group with Robert and Danny,
Robert,
Coward, you don't love me enough to change.This is what it all boils down to in the end, and that is not good enough for me but it makes me a hypocrite for I can't leave you alone. It's me or her. It might sound harsh, b*tchy, whatever, but I don't want to be the back up plan or your second option. For awhile you have been my first option. Obviously, his is not reciprocated by you. I understand, but you need to understand, however hard you think it is for you, it is hard for me too. And don't listen to Edward. I know it's probably best for both of us if I just move on but that is hard and I am a being of uncontrollable hope for better or for worse. I'm an optimist, til the end which is why I may never get over you which is unfair to everyone and gives you an unfair advantage, but I just can't help it.
-Monica
The next entry is when things get exciting. Robert sends Monica a poem that he wrote and she gets all giddy for a couple days because she is so sure he wrote it for her. Why else would he send it to her? It even includes a physical description of her but there's one line that doesn't fit her personality that she obsesses over deciphering. He is still acting weird and her birthday is quickly approaching so she's expecting some sort of small celebration or acknowledgment. This is Monica's response to receiving the poem.
Robert,
It was almost okay but now I'm just as lost as I was before, stop resetting the trap and either catch me or let me go forever. No more tug and pull, choose one or the other even though it's going to hurt unless you've already made your choice just blink back to let me know. Most days now, I feel frustrated, want to yell at you and scream at you until you can make a decision.
-Monica
Next letter is a week later so bear with me. On Monday, she had a fantastic birthday which included a cake made by me and an adorable surprise party thrown by the friend group that includes Danny, Edward, and Robert. On Tuesday Monica found out that Robert cheated on his girlfriend with a younger woman weeks ago but waited until after her birthday to tell her. That's why he was acting weird. On Wednesday, Monica cried and failed a test and wrote an angry text to Robert which is written below.
"Hey, guess what, it just clicked. You little piece of sh*t what the f*cking hell. I wish I wasn't so freaking exhausted so I could properly yell at you. Just what the hell. I really hope you know what you're doing because I'm freaking done with you. I guess I was wrong, there is nothing good hiding underneath. I'm done. Last straw. I hope your 'its college, no boundaries, take on the world' [state of mind] pays off but I don't want to be a part of it. I'm just sorry it took me so long to figure it out. [So] I get it now. please don't talk to me for awhile. You're a f*cking idiot. I hope she was worth it."
She hasn't talked to him since then so woohoo for that. On Thursday, nothing happened but on Friday she wrote down her feelings, not really in a letter format but she was, and still kinda is, really upset about the whole situation so she doesn't want to say much about it.
"If only one dying ember could be retrieved for the optimistic and stubborn, but the chances seem slim to none but no fire ever existed in the first place, just a cheap imitation to fool its peers."
-Monica
So basically, the guys Monica's been hopelessly in love with no longer has a girlfriend because he cheated on the girlfriend he had while leading on Monica at the same time. Robert was doing some sort of thing with 3 girls at one time. He's in a lot of trouble. In the meantime, Monica has been hanging out with her other friends more often which I'm a huge fan of because now I get to see a happy, "not worried about Robert" Monica every day. This isn't the conclusion. More drama is soon to come in the next part of "Letters From a Girl Stuck in Love."
