Dear Mom,

How can I even talk about how much I appreciate and love you? You’ve been so important to me for these past 19 years, and your impact on me is unexplainable. You’ve done so much for me that I’ll never be able to repay you.

Thank you so much for loving me, even through my own unique brand of craziness. I know that I’m sometimes a little over-emotional and stubborn, but you never hold any of that against me. You’ve always been there for me, and your goal was always to help me with whatever I needed help on, whether that was learning how to do laundry, studying for different tests, or even helping me with my own mental health.

Thank you for supporting me, for coming to all of my concerts for band and choir, and even coming to competitions when you could manage to fit it into your busy schedule, which was not necessarily your fault. Thank you for all the money you spent on my education. You were determined that I would have a good high school education, and you definitely made that happen.

Thank you for investing in my spiritual growth just as much as you invested in everything else. We were at church almost every Sunday, unless there were extenuating circumstances. Thank you for modeling a servant’s heart and being willing to help around the church with whatever needed done.

Thank you for teaching me about fairness and empathy. Thank you for the greatest gift you gave me- my sister. Thank you for reading and singing to me when I was a child. Thank you for all the nights you spent waiting up for me to get home. Thank you for understanding me when I needed to sometimes just get out of the house.

I have so many memories with you, some of which are so small, but stick out so vividly in my memory. I remember being dropped off at summer camp one day, and I remember you sending us off, and looking back at you, I see you there with your huge smile waving at us as you got ready to head off to work.

I remember the day that your dad died, and you had to tell me. I remember standing in front of the church, crying, while you just held me and cried with me. You told me it would be okay, even though your world was crashing down around you right then. You wanted me to be okay, even though you clearly were not.

I remember the day in junior high that I absolutely did not want to go to school because of the way the other students were treating me. I remember you telling me that I was strong and even though I didn’t want to go, I had to go and that I would survive the day. I also remember seeing the pain you felt as you saw the pain I was going through.

I remember the first time I had a mental breakdown, shouting at everyone, and almost not being able to breathe because of the stress of school and other things around me. You knelt down next to me as I sat in a chair in the living room, trying to calm down, and I remember you telling me that you wanted to help me with all the stress I was going through, and that you were there to help me. I didn’t have to shoulder everything on my own.

I remember being faced with the choice to leave my longtime school or to stay. I saw you again feel pain as you saw me feel pain, and this time it became very visible in all of us. I remember that you had trouble eating sometimes from the stress just like I did, and I remember dad had trouble sleeping. I also remember that you were not afraid to face conflict and make waves for me. I was your priority and you were not afraid to show that to the ones in charge.

I remember driving home with my friend Amanda to surprise you after I had left for college. I remember being so excited to let you know I was there. I called you and remember hearing that moment when you realized I was in the car right behind you, and you got out and ran out to hug me with tears of joy in your eyes.

I remember long conversations when we went on shopping trips, or even just nights when it was us two at home. I remember lots of laughs spent with you, and I also remember lots of tears. I remember lots of talks while I was learning to drive, and I don’t know how many times I laughed as I saw you try and press a brake pedal that wasn’t there.

I have so many memories with you, and they are so important to me. You have been such an influential person to me, and I can’t thank you enough for everything you did in my life. Thank you for everything you;ve done. I love you so so much mommy.

Love,

Your Son (your biggest fan)