Dear Little Me:

I’ll be the first to admit that I am not who we thought I would be when we grew up. I’ll also be the first to say that is a terrifying thing to admit. As soon as we could walk and talk, we were asked what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our society has career day, bring your child to work day, and countless hours dedicated to asking children: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”; which I think is great. We should most definitely be encouraging kids to look towards a bright future that involves a career they love.

Unfortunately, no one ever stopped to ask us, "Who do you want to be when you grow up?". We’ve spent a lot of time daydreaming about what we would be when we were finally an adult. We would stand in the mirror and wish and pray that we would grow up into someone who would be “cool”. We wanted to be tall, beautiful, have a great wardrobe, attend an Ivy League School, have an amazing boyfriend and tons of friends, and be well on our way towards our dream career: being a professional cheerleader. We wanted to be smart, glamorous, poised, and an all-around amazing person. We wanted what every little girl was told she should want: a list of characteristics that put together would make us “perfect”.

I'm someone who considers themselves a grown adult (at least half the time), but I am pretty short and probably not getting any taller. I am beautiful in the ways that matter to me and although I often choose to wear sweatpants with Birkenstocks, I have some cute style when I try. I have a boyfriend that makes me happy and although I’m not sure what younger me would quantify as tons, I have really solid friends that I love and an extended group of people that care for and support me. I am not well on my way towards being a professional cheerleader, mostly because I hate organized sports and I can’t touch my toes. But, I am well on my way towards becoming a teacher that will hopefully change the lives of the next generation, and I am at a school that I love.

I am not a perfect person. I am smart, but sometimes I choose to put off my homework until the last minute and don’t do the best that I could. I would never in a million years describe myself as poised or glamorous, mostly because that title doesn’t quite fit with someone who frequently carries unwrapped snacks in her pockets. I am not an all-around amazing person either. I make mistakes. I have hurt people that I loved. I have stayed in places that made me unhappy and given up things that did make me happy for reasons I can’t quite explain. I am late to things more often than I am on time, I am forgetful and I tend to love people either too hard or too little.

But, I would like to think that you would be proud of me. I am not perfect, but I am perfectly me. I do not fill that list of what we thought I would be, but I do know who I am. I am caring and genuine and I have a huge heart. I am doing the best that I can and I am waking up everyday to grow and to learn. I am not cool by any conventional standards, but I have accomplished more things than you could ever imagine. I am chasing my dreams. I have chosen to surround myself with beautiful, strong women that inspire me to be better every day. Each morning that I wake up, I am choosing to be happy. I am choosing to love myself for where I have been, what have I done, and who I have become. I am taking chances, I am expanding my world, I am being brave, and I am coming to terms with the fact that I am who I am and I shouldn’t ever apologize for that.

I may not be exactly who we thought we would be, and unfortunately, there are just a few dreams that are too far out of reach (unless someone knows any magic tricks to make me grow a solid 5-6 inches). But, I would like to think you would look in the mirror and be damn proud of who we have become, because life is too short to not be your own biggest advocate.

Sincerely,

Not-That-Much-Bigger-But-Older-You