In January, I had claimed that this year... This year was going to be my year. It was going to be the year of all years. I guess I had subconsciously set this false expectation of greatness in my mind. In all seriousness, I had no idea what I really expected out of you in order to make this year great.
There have been moments when I was thoroughly disappointed in the cards you dealt me. I wanted to go back to January and start all over knowing then what I know now. However, I am completely grateful that I can't do that.
There have been moments where I have seen and truly believed that 2016 was my year. I was happy with my life, wishing that this year would not end.
Looking back, I have seen that the greatest lesson that 2016 has taught me is the fact that life is completely and utterly ridiculous. Unpredictability is what makes life so amazing. I know it is cliché to say, but life never goes as planned and that is what makes it great.
This year has thrown me some of the biggest curve balls of my life. Ones that make me question if I really am wise and strong enough to make it to the decision much less the next day. I have seen that some things that are a lot more harmful than they seem, no matter how happy you anticipate they'll make you. I have seen that with the unexpected, comes greatness.
You see, 99 percent of the plans we make are made in the moment. They are influenced by what is happening in our lives at those moments. As humans, we are creatures confined to the moment. It can often be hard for us to see the bigger picture.
I want to thank you for not letting any of the plans I made in the moment actually go through. You have been one of the most life-changing years of my life, but not in any of the ways I ever imagined. I've come to be thankful for surprises.
All the surprises. All the meltdowns. All the questions. All the good days. All the bad days. Every last one of these moments has been totally worth it. You have changed me in ways I will forever be grateful for.
Some of these ways come to mind right away. I can tell you the moments everything fell into place and the moments everything changed. However, I know there are some moments I will never quite realize exactly what was happening. Those are the moments I am most thankful for.
They, just like the plans that did not follow through, are surprises. They made me enjoy the moment, and understand that sometimes, actually more times than not, it is perfectly okay for us to not know everything.
Sometimes we just have to blindly trust the moment and the process. Life would not be enjoyable if it was predictable. The plans we have for ourselves are not always the best. Life has its own way of working everything out.
All we have to do is sit back and enjoy the ride.