Leah,

Hey sweet girl! I know you are probably thinking, How is it possible for me to be getting a letter from myself? Well don’t throw it away just yet! Hear me out for a second. I have something important I want to share with you. Little Miss, YOU are absolutely STUNNING! Yes you!! DON’T ARGUE WITH ME! I know you’re thinking “Oh yeah right,” or “No I am not,”. Why do I know you are thinking this? Because I am YOU and I never forgot how I felt when I was younger. I have the hardest time taking any kind of compliment from anyone even now at age 23. “Oh you’re so beautiful” or “I wish I had your smile” it is all nice and sweet but unless we believe it ourselves, those complements mean nothing at all.

I know its hard to even think for a second that you might be beautiful, but when I say this I mean it from the bottom of my heart, YOU are so special in more ways than one. YOU accomplish so much through out your life. You graduate High School, you get your Associates Degree, you change lives! I could go on for days! Yet we both know that unless we believe in ourselves, we won’t believe it from anyone else. I want to share something with you. What I am about to tell you is going to be scary and hard to read but it is necessary for you to hear, it will only take a minute.

When I was your age, I thought I was the ugliest thing that walked this earth. I felt like a walking embarrassment to everyone around me. Do you know why? Because I let people tell me that I was “unimportant” and that “no one will miss you if you’re gone.” and “no one will ever love you.” Does this sound familiar? I let people walk all over me and make me feel like I was worthless and that I was just taking up space. Over the years what I was being told began to stick and I believed whole heartedly that the world would be a better place with out me. I fell into such a dark depression I thought I was never going to come out of it.

One summer when you are 14 years old, you will be ready to take your life and throw it away. You will be at the beach with your best friend and her family. It will be early in the morning and everyone will be asleep but you and her. You will get into an argument and decide to go outside and sit by yourself. On this night you will reach your breaking point, you will have finally reached rock bottom. I remember crying so hard and sobbed to God, “Why do I feel this way?”. All I could think about was getting my hands on the easiest object to end it all and the only thing I could think of was a knife. I remember talking myself into having the courage to walk in kitchen to get a knife and the second i planted my feet on the ground to stand up…I couldn’t stand. This is where your life begins to change. You will hear something that will keep you planted in the chair. It was so beautiful and comforting. God will speak to you on this night. God will speak to you out loud and in your heart! I know that sounds crazy but I KNOW HE DID. God will tell you these words exactly, “Hold on just a little bit longer. I have something bigger planned for you.” I have never felt so at peace and so content in my life.

I went to bed that night knowing God never gave up on me and has a plan for me. It is going to take another year or two for Gods plan to happen but trust me it will happen. Your Junior year of High school you will transfer schools and your world will be turned upside down. You will make friends, you will be able to step out of your comfort zone, became more active in the theater department, everything will be just perfect. I never ever knew that I would have the chance to start over and finally show the world who I really am. I was no longer afraid of who judged me and I could finally walk into a room with confidence. What I am trying to get at is that things will get better! You will make it through your dark season.

Tell yourself you’re beautiful. Post pictures on social media that say I feel beautiful in this outfit. Hold your head high and smile and show the world your beautiful soul and personality. Life is hard I know, but make the most of it by loving who you are! There are so many people in the world that love you and care for you! I am so proud of who I have become and who you will become! You do so much good in this world and have so much love to share, don’t be scared to show the world the light God has placed inside of us. I love you and am so proud of you.

Love,

Leah