As little girls we grew up playing with dolls, Barbie's, toy kitchens, play house, school, and many other weird societal traditions, just to be prepared for our future lives as wives and mothers. Well, did anyone ever consider the fact that some of us ladies may never want to go through hours of excruciating pain just to birth a child, when we may not want a child in the first place? This is a letter to the women who don’t want children. The women asked constantly when they see themselves marrying their “prince charming” and having children. The women who have never even thought about potential baby names or how many children of each gender they’ll possibly hope to want. This is to the women who aren’t afraid to say they are too selfish to ever want children and just smile and nod when their parents friends say “Oh you know you’ll change your mind years from now when you get married.” This is a letter to the women out there in my position.
As I’ve entered college I’ve realized that I am one of the few who took the path I had. The path of schooling, as opposed to marriage and a family. While 18 is far too young to begin a family I have noticed quite a bit of the women and men I went to high school with having children. I in no way oppose the decisions of anyone because it isn’t my life to try and change, but after holding my previous beliefs and then seeing everyone around me start their future lives I stand with the fact that I don’t want children as long as I am too selfish and involved in my own life.
While every child is a blessing I can’t see myself giving up my life for someone else’s. I have always adored children since I was younger and gained two baby siblings, showing me that I wanted to volunteer in the lives of the children in my church. I love children and have always loved babysitting the kids that I have, but at the end of the day those children aren’t mine. They looked up to me as a sitter and a friend, but they went back to the care of their actual parents after I left, and that was that. The selflessness it takes to care for a child 24 hours a day 7 days a week is not what I believe I hold. With this opinion I hold I also feel as though I am scared to bring life into this world. Women are treated unequally when compared to men, our world worsens in character and kindness year after year, and quite frankly the nations we have created are more frightening than we want to believe.
After I graduate from college I will only be 21 years of age, then having all the years I want to obtain a degree worthy job and make money, get married, and explore the world with my partner. This may sound selfish to those who aren’t myself, but I want the beginning of my life outside of schooling to be lively and free of worry. To be myself and travel as much as I can afford to. If I were to plan to have children after I marry then the time in which I could just travel and work would be spent saving money for my children. While having children brings a new found responsibility and personality to the mother and father I don’t feel as though I want to hold that responsibility in my life.
I didn’t just have this realization as I entered the new world of freedom that college brought with it. I have held these thoughts since I was introduced to children. I know there are other women in my position. Maybe I’ll change my mind someday, maybe not. Right now though I don’t have any desire to have any children and I’m perfectly okay with stating it.
