To My Big Sister,
As children, we played and we laughed and we chased the "lightening" bugs in the backyard. We danced to the songs on our Now 5 CD, always making sure that "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy was turned down low so mom couldn't hear. We had special appointments for tea parties in the dresses that mom sewed for us and we even combined our names to title the tree in our backyard. We would knead the bread dough together for mom every year in a huge orange bowl on the floor of the kitchen while mom mixed and stirred and baked. In the pool, we would play mermaids and in the yard we’d be spies. You were always the princess while I had to play the prince. You played with Barbie’s and I liked the cars. We exercised at Gram's house and swore that after ten minutes of ab workouts, we lost weight. You listened to Christina while I listened to Brittany. As time moved forward, we began to grow - not only in height but in distance as well.
We no longer played with our imaginations: we didn’t climb our tree, we stopped listening to Shaggy, and our tea parties came to a permanent end. We entered different schools and this was the death of our childhood relationship. For years we would fight and sometimes denied our biological DNA. Our entire lives we were told we were twins and our responses evolved from innocent little giggles to rolling our eyes and denying it angrily. I wanted you to graduate; I wanted to be ridden of my annoying big sister and her alarm that sounded like the warning to a nuclear war. In the halls of our high school, we passed right by each other not even noticing that the other was there. Then, there was a moment we shared in our bathroom after my friend had passed away. I was trying not to cry while I put my makeup on and you looked at me and asked, “Do you need any help getting ready?” Though you may not remember this interaction and though I never told you, this one question meant the world to me. No one else in the family really asked or paid any attention because I didn't want to show my sadness, but you saw right through me. For years all we did was fight and I believed that a relationship with you was impossible, but this one moment I've held near to my heart because it was the moment that restored my hope in us.
Our entire family saw our fighting and they felt our void, but they continuously repeated that someday we'd miss each other; someday we'd get close again. We didn't believe them of course, after all how could we believe that we'd build a relationship when we were polar opposites? How could I have a relationship with my sister at all? Well, look at us now. We can talk and laugh and sing loudly once more. Though we are still extremely different I want you know this: I love you to pieces and I always will. Even if there are days when we don't talk, I know that you're only one call away. Even if there are people who let me down, I know I can count on you to be there. Even if I don't believe in myself, I know you'll be there to help get me back on my feet again. Even though I may not always want to hear it, I know you'll always tell me the hard truth because you know that what I need will always outweigh what I want. No matter where this life takes us, just know that I am always your sister and I'll always support you. I know we may fight some more down the road, but from the words of a pretty awesome girl, "If there is ever a tomorrow when we are not together, please never lose faith in who you are because you are so much stronger than you believe." It's better late than never, but I have to admit I'm quite fortunate to have a big sister like you.
I love you to the moon and back,
Your Little Sister
