I know right now it's hard, it’s painful, and there is nothing anyone can say that will make you feel better. A lot of people are probably telling you that “it’s going to be okay,” “Time heals all wounds,” or my favorite, “Stay strong, you can get through this.” There a lot of things that can be said, but most probably have made you feel worse rather than better. I am not going to tell you the same thing everyone else has been telling you; I am going to tell what no one else will because I have been there,and wish someone had told me what I had to learn on my own.
Right now you probably feel like you’re in a dream, maybe more like a nightmare. You wish, no, you pray so hard that you can wake up and everything to be okay. But you don’t wake up; you aren’t in a dream. Again, you are not in a dream. You are in reality, it sucks, it hurts, and it isn’t fair. Your heart is shattered, the pain you feel is like nothing you have ever felt before. You have probably been told countless times now that it will all be okay. Take this with a grain of salt because it is not okay, and it is not going to be. When we lose someone so tragically, or so young, it is never okay. People are telling you this because they don’t know what else to say, but what you need to know is that they care and that they are there for you. Don’t shut people out who care because you are going to need a lot of support, and I mean a lot. You may think you are strong, you probably are strong, but you aren’t strong enough to get through this alone, trust me.
You are being told you will eventually get over this loss, but this a lie. I think the worst thing anyone ever told me was that “it has been like three month since he died, you aren’t over it yet?” No, dude, it is kind of hard to get over it in three months, and FYI, I am still not over it, but thanks for being so considerate and asking. People will probably ask you this, but the truth is you will never get it over it. You will eventually learn to live with the pain, you will find yourself again, but you will never get over it. You will never experience complete healing. The pain decreases with time, yes, but you will never completely heal. I know this hurts to hear, but we aren’t meant to be completely whole again after someone we love dies tragically, because it keeps their memory alive. It makes us appreciate other people in our lives a little more because we never know when it will be the last time we ever see them again.
Lastly, whomever you lost, they love you. You have to believe this, especially if you weren’t on good terms when they left. You impacted their life as much as they impacted yours. You were their strength and their light when everything else was dark. You can’t blame yourself for things you cannot control; God has a plan. It sucks to think he would let someone so beautiful, so young, and so innocent die. It sucks, but eventually you will see the plan God has and you will smile; you will know that they didn’t die in vain, that their legacy is still living and impacting the world. So cry, be angry, know that it is not okay, and accept you will never fully heal. But also know, you are not alone. People love you and are there to support you. God is with you and he will not leave, especially in this time when nothing makes sense and everything hurts. Some lives are tragically cut short, but they accomplished more in their few years than most do in a full lifetime.
