Dear Father of Mine,
Six years ago I lost you. In a sea of anger, your words broke me, your absence broke my heart. Six years ago I was hurt. Four years ago I was angry. Now, I am ready. As I am growing up, I have realized you were not ready to be a parent. Although no one can fully prepare for this responsibility, you unfortunately chose the easy way out. You left. With father’s day looming and after six years of silence I am finally ready to tell you that I forgive you. In fact, I want to thank you because without you I would not be the person I am today.
Thank you for teaching me the meaning of family. I used to think family was only composed with those biologically related to you. That I was subject to your mistreatment. I know now that family is much deeper than that. Although you genetically made me, you did not know how to love me. True love is kind. I have found this love in not only those who stayed, but in my friendships. I have even found love for myself. After all, you can’t properly love someone if you don’t love yourself.
Thank you for teaching me independence. I did not have you to rely on anymore. I had to teach myself how to support myself. Nothing in life is easy; it takes endurance and resilience to attain your goals. Sometime the steps along the way require you to be alone. Going to college, moving into an apartment, whatever it may be, I am not afraid of the challenge that lies ahead.
Thank you for teaching me the feeling of being silenced. I may have been vulnerable, but now I refuse to let it happen again. I speak up for myself when people try to talk down on me. I speak out for others because everyone deserves respect and compassion. My voice is my power and I refuse to dim it’s light ever again.
Thank you for teaching me how to lose control. Without this I may have fallen during my first challenge. When you lose control, it makes you realize that no matter how much you prepare or plan, life is not going to play out exactly how you want it. That’s the beautiful thing about it. The lows make you appreciate the highs, and the unknown makes you cherish the the little moments in between.
And finally, thank you for fueling my fire. At first my ambition was fueled by me wanting to show you what you were missing. That I somehow had to fix this problem of me not being good enough. However, it’s not me it’s you. You were intimidated by my potential and instead of supporting me like my loved ones did, you tried to break me down. Before my fire was fueled by anger towards you, but now I do it for me. I don’t need to prove you wrong. I already have.
I am striving to give myself a bright future because I am worth it.
