Dear Past Me,

Why do you keep showing up? I am not supposed to be living in the past anymore, but somehow I still find myself thinking not only about the good memories, but the bad ones too. Somehow, I still find myself justifying wrong actions I am doing currently because the past "caused it". Somehow, I still figure out ways to avoid change at all costs because I am happy with how things are now and do not want to repeat the past. Somehow, I still get scared to make mistakes, to be honest with how I feel just because people previously did not accept that I am a human, too.

I have worked hard to be the person that I want to be. I have associated with people that have helped me grow stronger. I have studied material that will help me grow wiser. Still, you show up to remind me of the person I once was, and no longer am.

Looking back on the past, things seemed so easy, although I am sure things were just as hard. There were parts about myself that I loved, but I lost due to experiences. I resent you for reminding me of them. I resent decisions made that have not advanced the person I am now. I resent you for not saving money, not always choosing the right people to associate with and not making the right decisions.

Although I may resent you, I thank you too. Thank you for making me the person I am today. Thank you for failing then so I can move forward and succeed now. Thank you for learning endless lessons that would help me in the future and right now. Thank you for helping me see some people's true colors so I could learn what I did deserve and who I should be around. Thank you for the heartbreaks and pain, because without them, I would not have the people in my life that I have today.

Thank you for being so strong and enduring any obstacle. If it weren't for that, I would not be able to handle things now. Thank you for learning skills to help me handle any challenge that stands in my way. Thank you for the dedication to yourself, so I could still be here today. Thank you for not giving up, but pushing forward.

Thank you for the good memories. They have been wonderful to look back on and remember. Thank you for taking so many pictures, so I could remind myself of those times today. Thank you for always choosing to love others, so I could continue to love today. Thank you for choosing to take care of yourself, because I may not be the same today.

I resent you for consistently showing up in my life now, because it reminds me of who I once was and all of the work I still have left to do in my life. Life should be exciting and fulfilling, but holding on to you just holds me back now. I resent that sometimes I still have to work on things that were damaged then, but you have equipped me with ways to become a better person now.

Thank you for choosing life, all of the memories and all of the lessons. But as much as I thank you, I must let you go. The person I was then is someone I do not know now. The person I am now is who I want to be and is striving for the things that I want. Who I am now is someone who is striving for success, growth and to be the best person I can be.

Holding on to you will only hurt me. It will only consistently remind me how much things have changed and it will hold me down. The people I associated with, the decisions I made, the money I never saved... those are all in the past. They happened and I cannot go back and change them, so I learned to grow from them. I learned to handle those things so I can be where I am now. Holding on to you will make me feel trapped, and you feel trapped when no growth has been made.

I will forever hold on to those good memories and smile, and I will hold on to the bad ones to grow from them. I will forever remember the lessons you have taught me and the tools you have equipped me with, but I cannot associate with you anymore. The people I am associated with now, you did not know then. The lessons I know now, you did not know then. I have one more lesson to learn.

I do not know you anymore. I am not you anymore. I am me. I am the person who is striving for success and continual growth. I am someone who is going to accomplish my dreams. I am someone who knows more than you did then, who has more tools to work through challenges and who has made different decisions.

Yes, I thank you, but I must part ways with you. I cannot justify your actions anymore, because they simply do not matter. What matters is now, the decisions I make now, the people I associate with now. You mattered then. I matter now.

I have a life to live right now.

Best Regards,

The Person I Am Now Because Of You