Hello,

You know who you are. And if you don’t, then I’m sure you will know by the time this is finished. I think it is only fair that I call you out, since you call out all of my insecurities and faults. But by writing this, maybe you will see how your words make me feel and maybe you can explain why you do it. However, if I know anything, then it is that you will automatically go on the defensive and say that I am wrong about all of this. Or that I am too serious. Or that I can’t take a joke.

Your words hurt. It hurts me that you know all of the things that I have been through and you still put me down. I thought that you were my friends, but friends do not do this to each other. Why am I always wrong and why do you constantly have to be right? I already know all of the things I do wrong and I beat myself up about it constantly and because you also have to add your two cents, I am afraid.

I am afraid to talk to other people, because when I do and you’re around, I get told not to talk about the things I like. I get told that I’m weird. It is awkward for the other person that does not know me, but it is also hurtful to me. When this happens, it causes me to think that I am weird and that I am doing something wrong; something out of the social norm. Even when you aren’t around, I feel this way because I spend so much time with you, it has trained my brain to think this way.

Do you know how much it hurts when you tell someone to not talk about the things that they are passionate about? To ask them not to talk about things that bring them enjoyment?

It hurts me that my opinions are always considered wrong. Even about trivial things such as restaurants and TV shows. Why do you have to say they are awful? Why can’t you just start a conversation about your favorite things? You don’t have to tell me that my choices in food and mindless television are wrong or stupid.

I don’t know what I have done to you. I have always been a good friend and defended you. However, I have decided not to do that anymore. Because to have a friend, you should be a friend. I am not going to surround myself with negativity and I will not be put down anymore. Because I know my worth. I know what I say matters. I know who I am matters. It may not matter to you, but I have others that I matter to.

I don’t know if it is because you hate me or if it is because you do know what bothers me. But here’s the thing: you aren’t supposed to use that as ammunition against a friend. You aren’t supposed to put them down constantly. You aren’t supposed to make them feel as though they do not matter. That isn’t what a friend does.

I hope you go far in life. And by that I mean that I hope you learn not to treat others this way because it will come back around to you.