Let’s say someone asks you what your next step is, whether it is in your work life or romantic life. If inside your mind, you are quietly thinking that you’re just “lost”, let me just say a few comments from what I have learned in my crazy journey so far.
How old are you? 15? 23? 37? 56? Honestly, it really doesn’t matter. I was the child who would always have an answer ready when you asked me what I was going to do next in my life because I was born a dreamer. I would tell everyone that I dreamed of going to school, playing the piano, joining the soccer team… and then I hit a low point. This last semester, I realized that I am unsure about almost every part of my future (career, relationship, location, etc…) However, I am proud today to say that I am slowly coming to be okay with that.
Some days I could never tell anyone what I was experiencing because I had felt as if I repeatedly lost so much and gained so little. I felt that I may never be good enough, not even for myself. I would smile, laugh, enjoy certain moments; however, at the end of the night, my mind would wander to the unknown and return with nothing but sadness and uncertainty. After a ridiculous year of emotions, I have learned two things: I am not lost, and I know enough to keep moving forward.
QI stopped telling myself that I was lost because I’m really not. I am on this road with no destination. I keep driving with hope that I’ll find a place in this world that I like and I’ll stay there. I've come to terms with the fact that I am not lost, but just on my way. Furthermore, I know enough to keep moving forward. During my drive on this unknown road, I keep my dreams close and trust my own strength.
I dream of having a space of my own, which I will decorate to hold nice memories and scented candles. I dream of bookshelves filled with adventurous stories and beautiful poetry. I dream of going on hikes and feeling healthy, strong, productive and satisfied. Though I have no destination, I am in control of my journey. I will take more photographs, try new hobbies and meet more people. I will learn about places I have never been to as I continue to also learn about myself.
My soul is not lost in this world just because I cannot tell you where I am headed. I am on my way, and during this drive, I just want to feel alive.
If you can relate, I will tell you that you have to stop telling yourself that you’re lost. You don’t need to have everything figured out to keep moving in the forward direction. No matter what age, it is human to feel as if the world is too large for one person to accomplish greatness, but we are all mistaken. From the moment one begins to walk with his/her dreams, strengths and will to achieve, the feeling of emptiness as well as loneliness begins to leave. There are many voices to listen to, but if you don’t start having your own to tell yourself that you’re okay, the journey becomes frustrating rather than exciting.
