If only I had known then what I know now!

That is a phrase that we all utter to ourselves at least once in our lives. And in some cases, we mutter it about once a week. It doesn’t mean we’re stupid or bad people. It just means that we went through things, made our mistakes, and overcame obstacles that stood in our way in one shape or another.

The words to follow are from me, now as I sit here typing, to the past me of just ten years ago. It is my hope that the lessons I learned help someone else on their own journey.

Dear Eighteen-Year-Old Me,

Well – you did it. You survived high school and have been down at the University of Oklahoma for a month or so. Phew boy have I got some things to say about you in regards to the next ten years of your life.

First off – don’t be afraid of failure. Get over it. It’s going to happen from time to time. You win some and you lose some. Take your English Composition I class for example. You’re in for retakes, my dear. And that is okay. Get up, brush off the ole pant legs and keep moving forward until you get past whatever hurdle has knocked you down. You can do it.

Second of all, don’t be afraid to open yourself up to possibilities. Yeah, you may get the crap kicked out of your heart a time or two along the way. But if you don’t take that chance you won’t know, you won’t learn and you won’t grow. You will miss some chances along the way for one reason or another but take a hold of every chance you do get to risk yourself emotionally on.

Third, changing your mind is okay. You’re going to do this a lot over the next eighteen months or so. It’s actually expected. Never mind the reason for the change – be it the fact that you’re going to have to transfer closer to home because of financial reasons and no local schools offer your degree, or you find out you’re not so great at math or you find out that maybe being around a bunch of bratty kids isn’t for you. Don’t be afraid to learn a little bit of everything. It may aid you in later endeavors.

Fourth – relationships aren’t easy, romantic or otherwise. You’re going to find in about six years how true this. They aren’t easy but they are worth it so long as both parties are willing to hang in there and dig in and fight through the bad times to reach the good ones. Love of any kind just isn’t easy. Life just isn’t easy. But things that aren’t challenging would be boring. And you just don’t do boring, now do ya?

Fifth and perhaps the most important – hold your head up. In the next year or so, you are going to start a long and torturous battle with your self-esteem and self-image. A boil that you think you’re going to get rid is going to come back with a vengeance on you and really put you through the ringer on multiple levels. You’re going to walk around getting weird and judgmental looks because of the almost softball-sized cyst in your neck that are going to make you almost hate yourself, hate anything that reflects your image back at you and make you want to shut down. Don’t. It’s going to be very, very hard but don’t give up and don’t give in. You will be rewarded for not giving into what you want to do – board up your windows and nail yourself in your own room. Love will find you despite how you look and many, many things will fall into place because you suffered and never gave up. This is but one of a series of tests to come. You can do it. Just place one foot after the other and take it one day at a time. If you have a bad day, let yourself have that bad day. But pick yourself up tomorrow and continue onward.

There are many, many more things I could tell you. These, however, are just the greatest hits of what is to come your way. Take heed, younger me. You’re in for a bumpy ride. Find a grip and hang on and you’ll be just fine.

Love,

Your Nearly Twenty-nine-Year-Old Self

I hope these things help some of you. Boy, if I had come to these realizations back then or even knew about the fraction of things ahead of me I might have faired much better mentally, emotionally and spiritually. If anyone of you can relate or have other words of advice for our younger readers, please, feel free to mention them in the comments or even email me at jeri.r.smith@gmail.com. I may just make a second part to this article if I get enough feedback. Love you all and..,

See you – next time!