Hey you, yeah you. You crazy person who fell in love with me. First, I have to say kudos to you, man! If you managed to fall in love with a hot mess like me, you’re a very special person.

I want to say thank you for not giving up on me. I am not the easiest person to love. I am stubborn and opinionated. I am complicated in many ways and most certainly confusing in all ways. I walk around with a wall around me, because that is the only way I feel secure. Behind this high stone wall, I exist. I have feelings, which everyone says I don’t have, including myself. Because like I love to say, the best way to not get hurt is to pretend you don’t have a heart.

If you’ve fallen for me, you must have been in my life for some time. Because I certainly am not the “love at first sight” type of girl. I hope I have driven you crazy at least once. I’m nuts, dude! I argue about anything I’m passionate about. And I’m the type to continue arguing even when I know you’ve clearly won. Because the last thing I’ll ever do is step down.

If you’re in love with me, I know for sure that I do not know about it. Mainly because you don’t know how to tell me or how I’m going to handle it. I don’t blame you.

The whole relationship scene scares me. In fact it terrifies me. I always say it’s because I would not know how to be in one or that I don’t want one. That’s a big fat lie along with every other excuse I come up for to hate on relationships. We as humans have a biological need for companionship. But it’s mainly because I don’t want to risk getting hurt or hurting someone else.

Everyone says that in life, we have to take risks, but I am never willing to risk breaking or being broken.

But yes, I would love to be with you if I feel the same way! Now that will be a task for you to figure out if I do feel the same way. And if you find out I feel the same way, then boy, you’re good! There are few things in this world I would say I truly love. Look, I suck with promises because I don’t even keep the ones I make to myself. So I’m not going to sit here and promise you things that I don’t know I’m capable of. But I will tell you that if I have fallen for you, I would haven fallen for you hard. I don’t fall easily (figuratively speaking, because I’m a total cluts IRL) but when I do I fall deep. And I love deeply. I will want to protect you and be there for you during the highs and lows and the in betweens. I would be willing to sacrifice and put in effort for you, for us.