I really like you. I know that we agreed to just be friends for a while until we got to know each other better, but I can't help it. Everything about you is slowly making me fall for you. I'm not ready for the "L-word" because that's reserved for a relationship, but when I think of what the next chapter of my life will look like, I imagine you in it. But we're not official. We're caught somewhere between just talking and just friends. When it's awkward and weird like this, my friends would call it the platypus stage. We're caught somewhere in the gray area between flirting and a relationship. We are in a flirtationship.
Let me back up and say that I didn't anticipate us to get to this point. When you messaged me online, I thought, "Oh, we're not going to be talking for more than a day or two." Two months later, and I can happily say that I was wrong. Not only are we still talking, but we talk every day, whether it be texting, talking on the phone, or both. We talk on the phone for hours, and it is my favorite part of my day. I value two things in this world: sleep and food. If I sacrifice either for you, it means that you're really important. Remember that night I stayed up talking to you until 4 a.m. when I had to be up at 7 a.m.? (There's a million examples to this, but this one is the most dramatic.)
You make me laugh, more than I ever thought I could. I smile the entire time we talk. I actually look like an idiot with that grin, but for you, it's worth it. Every conversation with you is interesting and fun. I constantly learn new things about you, and everything I learn, I hold on to tightly. And it surprises you that I not only listen, but I take the time to remember what you say and think about you. It surprises you that I want to share everything about my day with you, and that I see things and think of you. You think it is amazing when you send me something, and I say, "Yep, I totally expected that."
You keep me on my toes. Our conversations are full of teasing each other, and I enjoy our witty banter.
You completely understand me. I say something, and you finish my sentence. Not very many people can do that, but you do. I don't have to explain why I'm upset or sad because you know when I tell you how my day went.
But, and not to rain on the happiness parade, forgive me when I say that I don't believe you when you say you're not going anywhere. Not only have I had other flirtationships that have failed so miserably and resulted in them leaving my life altogether, but I've had relationships in which people have broken a promise not to do that. Truth is: I'm scared of being hurt that way again, especially because I think that what we have is different from any other relationship or flirtationship that I have ever had. But, I've said that before.
I'll believe it when I see it, when you finally take the initiative to make me yours. All you have to do is ask. The only thing missing at this point is the label. But labels are important, and I'm not going to wait forever.
