To the girl that’s continually mistreated by guys:
Hi, darling.
You don’t know me, but I know who you are.
You’re a total hopeless romantic that believes the purpose of life is to love and be loved in return, and it’s all you have ever wanted. You’re the girl who sees the good in everyone, even when sometimes there’s very little good to be seen. You’re the woman that trusts with all her heart over and over again because you don’t want to believe that people are capable of having bad intentions. And you’re the sweetheart that forgives and gives others second chances, even when they don’t deserve them.
You’re the woman who wants to be there for people because you know what it’s like when no one is there for you. You’re the woman who wants to make a guy feel special because no guy has ever made you feel that way, and you want to make him happy like no one has ever made you. You’re the woman who wants to make his day and let him know he’s loved because there have been moments you’ve really needed it and no one’s made you smile. And you’re the woman that believes him because everything you say to him is true.
I know who you are because I’m that girl, too, and honey, I am so sorry.
Your caring heart, your trusting ways and your unconditional love are the things that make you beautiful.
Don’t ever forget that.
But they’re also the things that make you vulnerable: vulnerable to being betrayed, hurt, heartbroken and used by guys who see your good as a weakness — a weakness that they can exploit to use and manipulate you — some men can be such monsters.
And I know this road you’ve walked has been filled with disappointments and broken hearts, loss of faith and shattered dreams, and lonely nights in cold rooms. I know that you've questioned a million times what’s wrong with you, and I know you’ve started to doubt yourself about how amazing you are.
You start to question if you’re pretty enough, skinny enough, lovely enough, funny enough to be desirable.
And as time goes on, I know you grow only more convinced that you’re never going to be enough.
I know you think there’s something wrong with you, that it’s your fault men treat you this way and that if you were better, they wouldn’t.
But honey, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Jennifer Aniston, Sandra Bullock, Princess Diana, Fergie, Shania Twain and Christie Brinkley: What do you think of when you hear the names of these women?
You think of beauty, success and having it all. You think of unstoppable, thriving women that millions of men would absolutely love to be with.
But guess what? All these women have been mistreated, lied to, cheated on and heartbroken by men, too.
What on earth could those men have been thinking?!
My dear, just like these wonderful ladies, you are beautiful, you are wonderful and you are enough.
Don’t ever let a man tell you otherwise.
I can relate to you, and I know what you’ve been going through.
I’ve been stood up for multiple dates, without even an explanation or ever hearing anything back.
I’ve been lied to and deceived by guys I really believed in.
I’ve been told that because I’m choosing to wait until marriage, no guy would ever want to even consider dating me.
And I’ve been told that unless I sleep with him, the guy I liked wouldn’t take me on our date.
I’ve been told that I should try and get a bigger butt, one that looks more like “that girl’s.”
I’ve been told that the guy I was into was excited to meet my family, and when he never called back, his explanation was a text that said he was “done wasting my time.”
I’ve received pictures of a girl’s bra from the guy I liked as he hooked up with her when I told him I wouldn’t hook up with him.
And I’ve been told that I’m “too nice” of a girl to date.
My dear, don’t you worry: you are not the only one who has been treated in such terrible ways by guys.
You are not alone.
But honey, the time for crying and being upset is over.
It’s done.
You learned the hard way: some men suck and they are not worth wasting a moment of peace on.
One day, a real gentleman is going to sweep you off your feet and make you realize the way men are supposed to treat you. The way you’re supposed to be loved and cherished.
But until then, you’ve got so many other things to worry about, like graduating school and having a blast with your friends, or things like chasing dreams instead of chasing guys who never want you to catch them.
You’ve got other things to do, like figuring out what makes your heart beat and doing those things until the sun goes down, or changing the world with a revolutionary idea that nobody believed in.
My dear, chase dreams, chase life, but don’t you dare chase after silly boys.
Chase success and accomplishments; it’s the best way I know how to get a guy out of your head. Don’t worry about getting even or getting them back. Become so happy and so entwined in your own success that you can’t even remember their names. Make sure one day, they’re going to remember yours.
Keep going. Have Faith. Love your family and friends.
But most importantly my dear, love yourself.
Because you are absolutely perfect just the way you are.