It’s difficult to look back and face some of the mistakes and decisions that our past selves have made. I know for me, it’s difficult to look back and see all the trying times and know that there were a few things I could have done much differently; but that’s the whole point of growing up isn’t it? Though learning from your own mistakes is a much harder pill to swallow than learning from the mistakes of others. If I could take a trip down memory lane then write a letter to the girl that got me through all those times, this is what it would say:
Never close your heart to the world. You are going to have the crap kicked out of you by life, and by the people that you love, but do not become cold and cynical. There’s something special about the people that can still openly love even when you’ve been treated like absolute dirt; it doesn’t make you pathetic or weak, it makes you compassionate. You are the type of person that people would love to have in their life because you bring a certain type of light, don’t let anything dull that.
Your first love will always be your first love, so don’t treat his memory as if it’s tainted. His name will still leave that ache in your heart and you will still pray that he’s doing well. No matter how things ended, he loved you first, he holds your youth and all those raw emotions of falling in love for the first time. "Anything But Mine" by Kenny Chesney will come on the radio and you will still sob in your car two years later and wonder what went so wrong. This is okay, grieving a lost love like that isn’t something that you can just snap your fingers and get over. Forgive him, move on.
Stop striving for perfection. This will mess you up more than anything else; you lose sight of who you are and forget how to love yourself.
Thank your parents, for every little thing. They’ve gone through a lot to make sure that you have never wanted for anything. Your mom works harder than you give her credit for, and your dad has made you the center of his world; make them proud. So mom and dad, I know you’ll read this, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Learn to forgive. Forgive people for the things that they do wrong against you, this makes you the bigger person and simply makes you feel a helluva lot better once you stop harboring so much hatred and resentment. Also, learn to forgive yourself. The mistakes you make do not define you; you’re human, please keep that in mind.
You are so young. You do not have to have it all together right now. Just because your best friend from high school got married and the girl that sat next to you in freshman year English is on baby number two does not mean you’re slacking. You’re in college chasing your dreams and working for a diploma; you have your own accomplishments, the rest will follow when it’s time.
Over appreciate the moments that seem too perfect. There are often times that come along that make time seem like it’s stopped, like you could stay in that moment for almost ever. These are the moments that should mean the most to you, the moments that you hold onto and store them away inside your mind for a time where it all feels like it’s falling apart. That summer in Daytona, sure you were a little too wild, but the memories of those nights on the beach will pull you through some dark days.
Show up. If you say you are going to be there, be there. No matter if it’s a stupid softball tournament game that your friend is playing in because he decided that he wanted a hobby, support him. Your friends will do anything in this world for you, the least you can do is show up when you say you will; speaks a lot to your character.
Give second chances. I’m not saying forgive behavior that is constantly hurting you, I’m saying give people that seem like they are worth it, a second chance when they mess up; they are human. Second chances give you both the opportunity to grow and learn, together.
Lastly, I hope I’ve done you justice growing up. I hope I am everything that you ever hoped of becoming, or at least close to it.
