Dear You,
We started out like any typical first love or high school relationship. We met and we thought we were in love after two weeks. You were different than every other boy I had ever met in my 15 years of life. You were respectful, and you seemed like you generally cared for me more than anyone else ever has. When I was 15, I never knew you would be my longest relationship at this point in my life, a person I love dearly or the pain you would cause.
Our relationship was so great at first, but you and your past demons turned the relationship to crap. The lies, the drugs and all the secrets – between all of this, you ruined my outlook on love and what I thought love was. You will never understand all of my sleepless nights crying because once again you lied to me about drugs and your extracurricular activities. You will never understand how many times I have prayed you would leave heroin behind. You will never understand the disappointment I feel every time you come back into my life for two weeks, only to leave again a week later.
You were addicted to heroin, and I was addicted to you. You are my high when you are around, and I go through withdrawals every time you leave. Everyone asks, "why do you put up with that, you are worth so much more than anything he has to offer." Sadly, I do not know the answer to this question, even though you leave the same way every time. I guess I hope you will turn back into the same person I dated for three years and love me like you used to. You hurt me again and again because I let you. The fact that I let you do this makes me hate myself even more than I hate you. You do not understand my pain, and you never will.
Fortunately, for me, the pain does not hurt like it used to. I am stronger, and I am better, so thank you for that. One day, the last time will be the last time. Your cries and your tears will no longer trap me, and I will be free from you forever. I cannot wait for that day when I will finally be free.
With love,
From the girl you will never deserve.
