I never believed it. Such a ridiculous expression, I thought. How could being nice be a negative quality? How could anyone ever be too nice? Nice guys finish last. Not possible. As a pretty religious Catholic, I interpreted this expression to be a challenge to be proven wrong. The man above or the supernatural supposedly looking over this planet and its people will rightfully make it so these “nice” guys are the ones who end up on top in society without question. Right? Well, not exactly. Preparing for college and looking back on my high school experience, I find myself a lot more satisfied with who I am, even though I might not be as “nice” as I used to be.

See, I was that guy. I was the guy who let things happen to him. I was the guy who let other people make plans to go out Friday night rather than make them myself. I was the guy who avoided confrontation and tension as much as humanly possible and diffused situations, even if I was not directly involved. I was my friend group’s caretaker in a sense, a social moderator of sorts. Yes, that worked out well for me in the short term. It worked out well when I had the friends to support me, but college is on the horizon. I was actually really happy with those who I was surrounded with, yes, but not necessarily myself. Something was missing. Something was wrong. I was not completely satisfied, and that something that was missing was putting myself first before anyone else. For some odd reason, I felt the obligation to cater to people’s personalities because that was the only way I knew how to make people like me and sustain a friendship.

I assisted others with their oxygen masks before putting on my own when the cabin pressure dropped. But how can you help others without first helping yourself? It turns out flight attendants give pretty good life advice. Honestly, I cannot explain it better than that. Some may think it’s selfish to do only do the things you want to do, and hang out with the people you want to hangout with, and say the things you really want to say, especially going to a private school with fifty students in the senior class. In reality, it is those people who doubt this maxim and are left in the dust. This, I believe, is what people define being “nice” is: being a follower of others rather than being a leader of yourself.

Now, I want to make it crystal clear that I am not giving the green light to go confront everyone who questions who you are because you have no idea their motive behind their actions: may be a misunderstanding, and there you are cutting off a childhood, potentially lifelong, friend. No. You must find the line to be nice enough to be yourself, but not let people take advantage of you. In an essence, DO YOU. Do the things that make you happy. Hang out with the people you want to hangout with, and do not let anyone stand in your way. If you do, you can let that aforementioned supernatural power deal with people’s reactions so you will not have to. I overcame some pretty horrible breakups and adversity with long time friends by simply not being “nice” and doing the things that made me want to get up in the morning. I catered to myself for the first time rather than anyone else. I stopped apologizing for being the person I was because that just kept me from pursuing the person who I want to be. In the words of Kanye West, “You tried to play nice, everybody just took advantage. You left your fridge open, somebody just took a sandwich.”

He’s talking to us. The “nice” guys. Close that dang fridge and never let ANYONE take that sandwich unless YOU let them. If you do, you will never finish last.

So whenever that cabin pressure drops, what is your first move?