A Letter To Myself

A Letter To Myself When I Have A Breakdown

"Hey, long time, no talk!"

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I wrote this letter to myself at a time in my life where I wasn't fully happy with who I was. After writing this, I remember feeling a sense of confidence and accomplishment. If you ever feel like you aren't yourself and you need to love yourself, write yourself a letter, too.


I am a good person, and it is hard work to be a good person. Being a good person entails you having to treat everyone you meet with respect, no matter what your condition/ attitude is, you have to make 0 biases/ judgments on people and if you do, you cannot act on them, and you cannot be mean to the people who are mean to you.

It is so easy to be a bad person and ignore people, be rude to people and never give anyone the time of day, and to go off of premade judgments about people and make your opinion about them.

I am a good person.

The world has never fully been on my side. I've met people who I've trusted and have screwed me over, I've been in positions that have knocked me down and made it hard to get up, and I've put thoughts in my own head that made it hard to keep going for so long. With all these in mind, it is so easy for me to be a bad person and be mad at the world for all the stuff it's put me through.

Now that I'm in college, I see that all I went through in high school is going to multiply. There are people who just want to use me, people who don't want to get to know me based off of predisposed judgments, and there are people that I'm going to trust (and trust hard, because I'm that type of person) that are going to fuck me over.

However, I know who I am. I am a woman that illuminates positive energy and makes people around me happy (for the most part). I have realized who I am in social interactions and in the world, however, I am just coming to understand the Casey behind closed doors.

Casey on the outside does not like attention or attachment to people, but the Casey on the inside craves that, and it's starting to get to her about how many people in her life she has shut out to keep herself contained.

The Casey in the open is crazy and loud and funny but the Casey behind closed doors is quiet and likes to listen to and say nothing and expect nothing to be said or listened to in response.

I've always heard the saying that before you can love someone else, you have to love yourself. I am at the point where I honestly do love myself, just not equally.

I love both parts of me but have huge issues with both parts of me. I hope that all this self-realization comes soon and comes easy, because I'm ready to meet Casey, and I hope she is the same inside as she is inside.

I am starting to fall in love with Casey.

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It Is OK To Have Guy Friends That Are Literally Just Guy Friends

Some of my best friends are guys and sometimes they are better friends than girls are.

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Lately, I have come to the realization that some of my guy friends are better then some girls I call my "friends". Ever since middle school, I have always had many guy friends that have always been just guy friends, and nothing more. Some girls had a problem with it back then and they still do now, maybe because they are jealous, or maybe because they feel left out. However, I decided a long time ago to keep those guy friends for reasons like...

1. They Don't Take Things So Seriously

You can always joke around with them, and they will joke around with you right back. You can be as nice as you want or as mean as you want to them, and they will always take it as joke. I think that sometimes girls have a difficult time deciphering between when you are being serious or when you are joking. Most of my guys friends tend to not things too seriously at least 75% of the time.

2. They Are Always Honest

When I need a blatantly honest opinion I always ask my guy friends (and my mom). I do this because guys do not really care about whether or not their response will make you mad. Also, guys do not think about if their answer will benefit them personally or not before they answer.

3. They Genuinely Listen To You

Not all the time. But when I am upset, they are always the ones most concerned. Some of my guy friends take over the "big brother" role when it comes to some situations. My guy friends always listen to my problems or just the same old rants I give all the time because if something is wrong, or something has hurt me, they want to know, in order for them to try and fix it.

I am not trying to say that my girl friends are not my best friends either, and I really do have the best best friend. But sometimes, it just feels good to hangout with my guy friends. Guy friends, that I have never had a romantic relationship or feelings for and they have not had for me. These guys have always been there, and for that I am grateful.

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Finding Your Niche In College Starts With Finding You

Attempting to be someone you are not for the sake of having company only hurts you in the long run.

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Transitioning to college is hard enough, but trying to find a place where you feel "at home" can make this time even more stressful. Here are some tips on how to find that place/group of people that make you feel like sunshine.

I have always felt a little out of place wherever I went, but it wasn't until college that I realized that this feeling was so special and more people should capitalize on their differences rather than conforming to a certain mold. Transitioning to college and finding your place among so many people can be very overwhelming. The added stress of attempting to be someone you aren't for the sake of having company adds a whole other layer to this problem. The easiest thing for me to do in any situation like this is trying to make the setting a little smaller. One of the most obvious ways to do this on a college campus is by getting involved!

It is inevitable that within the first few weeks of the semester at any college, there will be an organization fair. This is a chance to scope out all that your school has to offer! Chances are there will be some type of group or club that lines up with your interests. Most college campuses have extracurricular opportunities ranging from social sororities and fraternities, professional ones, intermural sports, vocal groups, and so many more. You are more than likely going to find some type of organization that you can call home if you seek them out. Joining an organization is such an easy way to interact with people with similar interests. An interest can bring two completely different people together and create some beautiful friendships. It is situations like this where it is important to be your authentic self and mingle with those you share something with.

That being said, finding your place in college isn't always about being involved. Getting involved on campus is just one of the simplest ways to start. There are so many other opportunities on campus to meet people whether it be among others in your residence hall, people in your classes, or just people you find yourself stumbling upon! Finding people to spend your time with is easy; however, you should make it a point to surround yourself with people who bring you up.

Once you have a set group of people that you find yourself spending time with, it is important to pay attention to the way you feel when you're around them. If you find yourself feeling bad about yourself or get the impression that you need to change something in order to "fit in," chances are the people you're around are not the best for you or your self-esteem. It is important to surround yourself with people who allow you to feel comfortable in your own skin. That being said, you also want people who encourage you to make good decisions and help you reach your goals. People who encourage toxic behavior in your life might be fun in the short term, but in the grand scheme of things, you need to be surrounded by people with your best interest in mind. Essentially, surrounding yourself with people who influence you to be your best self is one of the best decisions you can make short and long term.

The key to all of this is being conscious of your own feelings and needs. Pay attention to who reaches out to you to hang out. Notice the ones who pay attention to you as you speak when it feels like no one is listening. More than anything, be conscious of who you're with and where you're at when you experience moments of pure happiness. Life is too short to waste your precious time on people who don't build you up. Wouldn't you rather spend your time with more moments of pure joy than self-hate? Start living for you!

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