Dear my future self,
It's been a crazy ride these last 19 years. My life is still a bit crazy with school and all, but it seems to be calming down slowly. School is almost over and graduation is right around the corner. That's a scary thought, graduation. It's only two and a half months away and I have not yet figured out what exactly it is that I'm going to do. I mean, of course I have ideas, but they're all so scattered in my brain that I'm not really sure how to deal with them. I guess that's what this letter if for -- to turn these scattered ideas in my head into concrete goals and plans in my heart.
To start, in regards to my studies and my career, I want to pursue my true passion of dance. Five years from now I will have already graduated from AMDA's studio program, and I would like to have performed professionally in an amazing play (location doesn't really matter as long as I get paid for it). And I hope against all hope that in five years time I will have saved up enough money to finally start studying dance. And maybe, just maybe, at some point in the future when I've learned enough, maybe I can come back to AMDA for dance. Now there's a thought.
My entire life I've always been worried about money. But in five years I don't want to have to. I want have a steady, decent job that pays well enough to live comfortably in my own apartment somewhere in the city. I will be financially stable enough to go after my dream. It will be hard, very hard for a while at first, but I will get there in time.
I want to have at least one or two really solid, substantial friendships that are long-lasting. I want a friend who I can share everything with and who will share everything with me. I want a friend I can spend endless amounts of time with and never get sick of. Someone I can bother all the time and never worry that I'm actually bothering them. I want a best friend that will become more of a sister -- or brother, whatever the case may be.
As for love, I've already found the person I intend to spend the rest of my life with. So in five years I plan to be living with him in our own quaint, cozy little apartment. We will be undoubtedly happy together. Perhaps we will be married by then. That would be nice. Very nice. I can't imagine where I would be in five years if I didn't have him, nor do I want to.
I do not consider myself a particularly healthy person. I practically grew up on pizza and mac 'n' cheese and the like. Throughout the years, I have tried to eat healthier, however, my tastebuds have not been all that cooperative. With my extraordinarily picky tastebuds and my college student bank account I haven't really had much luck i changing my dietary habits thus far. But I did successfully cut soda out of my diet several years ago when it used to be all that I would drink, so if I just try really had and take baby steps and stick to it I know I can be eating much cleaner in five years. I also need to exercise much more. I've been working on that a lot here at AMDA by taking very physical extracurriculars and attending morning warm-up sessions. But I still have a long way to go to get fit and really feel comfortable in my own skin. Gotta start getting in shape if I'm gonna be a dancer!
I consider myself to be, pretty much, solely an artist. Very little outside of the world of art actually interests me. But art world is huge! Just about anything can be considered an art form in some way or another. My main interests in art acting, dance, singing, film making, writing, music, photography, and visual art. I love art that leaves a lasting impression. I want to greatly increase (and hopefully improve) my involvement in these areas of art. I want to create beautiful things. Things that evoke emotion. Things that I'm really proud of. Things that make me happy.
For myself, I hope to become a better person. No matter how good of a person I may be in this moment right now, there is always, always room for growth and improvement. And I would like to grow and improve myself. I want to be kinder, more caring, more compassionate, more generous, full of love, hope, and gratitude. I want to come to terms with and accept the way things are and that there are some things that I have no control over so I should stop stressing over it. I want to make conscious decision to be happy. I want to really connect with myself and the world that surrounds me. I want to be centered and grounded in my body and within myself. Ultimately, I want to be a much happier, healthier me.
Now I will leave myself with a few wise words from Eleanor Rooselvet: "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams," and Christian D. Larson: "Believe in yourself in all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle."
All love always.