To 17-year-old me;
I can prove it’s me. Get in your trunk and grab your old Menards jacket for the winter months and check the pocket. There’s a clump of marshmallow and chocolate that you’re still not sure how exactly it got there, but you’re never going to tell anyone about it, so there you go, it’s me.
I know it hurts, this breakup. But it’s been a month, and you’re dating someone else, and it’s not completely a waste. You’ll go to prom in a few weeks and you’ll feel better before long, like it didn’t happen.
Don’t let what everyone else deems normal to be your normal. Listen to your heart, and go to that rocking college you toured a few weeks ago. This is your wiser, smarter, 19-year-old self telling you this, writing for Odyssey at that rocking college… Do it. Don’t give up on your classes, old friends, new friends, old love, or yourself. Things will change in the next year, and you have no idea how much, but it will happen, and you will make a difference.
I know that things feel like they aren’t going your way. But don’t let that stand in your way of making the most of this upcoming summer. Rekindle your friendship with your “twin”, it’ll mean everything to you. Watch some Harry Potter or Disney movies, you’ll feel better immediately. Make friends with the people at work, they won’t be around forever, but some of them, you’ll still be friends with after you leave.
You won’t have to work there forever. The long hours on the concrete floors, it’s not fun, I know. It’s rough. Your feet hurt all the time and you wish you could get out of your little checkout lane, but you can’t so make up stories in your head. Write them, come up with characters, picture them in your mind. It will help the hours pass quicker. You’ll have a job you enjoy more before long, but this one is not all bad, I promise, you learn a lot.
Don’t give up on yourself just yet, baby. This is not the end of your line, I promise you. A lot will change this summer and in your senior year. Just about nothing will stay the same. But you’ve got this, I promise. There are good times up ahead. Throw yourself into research on things you love, even if others think it’s weird. When you meet someone new this summer, don’t throw them aside. They’ll come back, and they’ll hurt you, I’m warning you. But they will teach you so much you’ll thank them for it, someday. That feeling that you have, that things will get better? They will. Keep your head up.
“Jesus replied, ‘You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.’” (John 13:7)
Love from your 19-year-old self.
