There are so many things I wish I could have told myself when I was younger, now that I know the things I know. So I decided to write a letter to my high school self with things that would have helped me back then.
Dear Julia,
I am writing to you from the future, where five months from now you will be graduating college, moving into a new apartment, working at a bank and YOU WILL BE HAPPY. And there are just a few things I want to tell our 14-year-old self to help you get through the next eight years.
When you start to contemplate if that boy is worth it or if he is starting to seem too controlling, break up with him now. He IS too controlling, and you will save yourself a lot of tears, heartbreak, and abuse that no person should have to go through. Besides, you'll meet someone better anyways. Seriously. And then you will wonder why you put up with all that crap you did for so long. I promise you, that boy is so NOT worth it. You deserve better.
When mom tells you that you're not allowed to quit swimming, you will thank her. It will be one of your favorite things about high school. You also will work hard and achieve your goal of making section cuts in the 100 breaststroke, and you will be so happy that you cry. You will make sections in butterfly as well, and no, that is not a joke.
Now on to a touchier subject: your weight. You are beautiful and your weight will NEVER define you. Anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself for your weight is not worth listening to. Your weight will fluctuate and you will want to lose it no matter what it is. But also know that when people joke about the 'freshman 15,' it's more of a reality than you will ever realize. Someday you will wish for your high school body back. It sucks. But it's also nothing to be ashamed of, ever. But there is also nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight and work to do so, as long as you do it the healthy way.
You will get to college and the thought of quitting will cross your mind a million times. But as I said earlier, we have one semester left and will be graduating in five months. It's scary to think about. But I want to let you know, that all those times you feel like you're not going to make it, all those times when you feel like you're going to be a failure, just know it would be okay if you were. You don't have to know everything and have it all figured out. You still don't really know what you want to do with your life now, and that is completely normal.
Your life will not always go how you want it to, but it will turn out in ways you never even imagined. And when you get to senior year of high school and they ask you what you want to be when you grow up, you will tell them you want to be happy.
Trust me, you will be.
Love,
Your future self.
