Hey, Kiddo!
Sorry, I know you don't like being called that.
How are you? How's school been treating you? I know that sometimes the work can be overwhelming, but trust me - you are building skills that you will use when you're older. Can't say that procrastination ever goes away, but you get better at managing it! And all those papers you write in English class that seem to have no meaning right now really do help you a lot in the future.
Tell me about the boy you like right now. Are his eyes totally dreamy? Does seeing him make your heart leap into your throat and make your stomach feel like it's buckled into a front seat on Nitro at Six Flags? I bet your hands get totally clammy around him and you can't even find the words to speak. And when the words finally do come, you say something stupid in an attempt to be cool. Do you want to know a secret? That nervous feeling never really goes away when it comes to handling boys - you just get better at holding yourself. But boys aren't your priority right now, so don't worry about what you said around him - a few years from now he won't even be on your mind.
What are your friends like? Trust me, some friends are for life. I know there must be several friends that you think will be in your life forever, and I am sorry to disappoint but that's not always true. But some friends are here to stay, and the friends that fade away? Don't worry, because you will meet some people that become like family to you.
How are things at home? Family can be stressful - everyone would agree. Just give it time, don't worry. I promise things get better.
And how are you? Have you been taking care of yourself? Trust me, that is important. Some people consider taking care of yourself to mean allowing yourself to eat whatever you want, watch tons of movies, and just relax. And yes, although you have those days - a lot of them, not going to lie, - it is also important to take care of yourself in other ways. Set goals for yourself and demolish them. Break away from people who are toxic. Find ways to make yourself laugh, take up a hobby, learn a new skill. Taking care of yourself is just the tip of the iceberg. Allow yourself to grow.
I know right now things seem like they are either horrible or perfect (it depends on when you're reading this) and I can't promise you that there will never be bad days. Because there will be. Bad days are what make the world turn. But what I can tell you is that your bad days never outnumber your good days.
I hope you're enjoying life right now. You make it through a lot, and you come to the understanding that things are not always going to work out in your favor but that's okay. You meet people that help you, you learn to help yourself, and most importantly; you learn to look back on the past and rejoice in how far you've come. There will be times of regret, but there will also be times of great happiness. And you make it through each of those times.
Keep doing you, you're pretty great at it.
Xo,
Your 21-year-old self.
