They say you don’t really know a person until you live with them, but there’s another layer to the friendship onion that only those of us who lived together as expats will have the privilege to peal. The truth is, you don’t really a person until you travel with them, and likewise those friendships have a bond that is impossible to replicate.
Dear Friends,
Getting on that plane was absolutely terrifying, knowing that when I landed, I wouldn’t know the language or even a soul to converse with. My stomach was pitted with that “fear of missing out” while the people at my home university that had become my family over the past few years started another great semester together; they continued doing everything I loved as I shipped myself off to a foreign country with no friends and zero comprehension of what I was getting myself into. I wondered why on earth I agreed to leave everything comfortable behind with the gamble that this experience would open my mind and give me some much needed perspective. All the cards were on the table, and my money was on God help me.
Yet, it didn’t take long into that semester to learn that it wasn’t going to be the beautiful places I went, the incredible sites I saw, or the jaw-dropping experiences I had that would impact me, but the people I would make those memories with that would foster growth and make that semester understatedly unforgettable, life-changing, and simply joyful.
It is unreal to imagine that if any one of you or I decided to not go on our program or study abroad at all, our paths would have never crossed. It was the consequence of likeminded curiosity and four months of legendary, absurd, hilarious, and enchanting stories that brought us together for that short time. I often think about how lucky we were that our heterogeneous mix of personalities blended so well together and how being far away from the familiar made us vulnerable and therefore more receptive and loving. We created our own little expat community and went from strangers to unlikely lifelong friends quicker than any of us thought possible.
Looking back, my favorite memories were those where everything was going wrong:
Missing our flight because we were too busy enjoying each other’s company in the café next to the gate.
Taking the train in the wrong direction for forty-five minutes before we realized we were no longer in the same city.
Showing up to museums after they closed to redirect our itinerary to something much less notable yet entirely more worthwhile.
Ordering food off the menu in a language obscure to all of us to find out it was far from what we expected.
Attempting to meet up with one another in unfamiliar places with no data or dead phones.
Locking ourselves out of our Airbnb.
Deciding to walk somewhere instead of taking the direct public transportation and getting terribly lost for hours.
It was these detours, mistakes, and misfortune that brought us close by forcing us to work with each other to solve problems and to redirect our attention in a new direction. They compelled us to lean on one another and created a mutual understanding and respect that could only be afforded in such a foreign environment.
Over a year later, there is no doubt that I miss feeling like a local among the tourists and being a short tram ride from monuments that most people will only see in movies. I miss travelling to new places every weekend and navigating through the “must-sees” while going off the beaten path less likely on purpose but never with regret. I miss impromptu dinners out on weeknights and the long evening walks back from class at dusk. Yet, when I think back about how awesome it would be to be abroad yet again, carrying out daily routines and spontaneous adventures in that city I hold so dear, I don’t think I could. When it boils down to what I miss most, it’s living that life with all of you.
You came into my life by chance and stay by choice. You are the only people who will ever understand our time abroad and likewise fostered my growth into a better person than who I was when I first got on that plane. For that, I say thank you. Thank you for being you. Thank you for encouraging me to be myself. Thank you for being my home when we were abroad and now still as we live apart on the home turf.
I’ll forever love you guys and the city that brought us together.
Con affetto,
Eryn
