Dear Rush Crush,

I'll preface this kind of creepy letter by saying you probably don't know who you are. You probably don't even remember me, although I'd really like to think that you do. The first time I saw you, I was sitting in a chair across from you in crowded recruitment room, just another fish in the recruitment sea. There is a study somewhere that says that within the first ten seconds of meeting someone new, you have already made a first impression and that you then have the next thirty seconds to change it. Girl, you made one hell of a first impression. I sat down into our conversation thinking "This is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, there's no way she'll be nice, she has to know she's cooler than I am," but within those few minutes I had to talk to you I realized how much we had in common. I realized that you were everything I thought I wanted in a new sister. You were cool, calm and collected. We shared interests and high school involvement. You asked genuine questions and legitimately laughed when I made a dumb joke or two (or seven). We talked about coffee shops and our hopes and dreams and what you were afraid of coming into college, like I wasn't some stranger you had just met. You even hugged me goodbye at the end of the first night. I knew you just had to be in my chapter. Every night when our advisors asked if we had anyone in particular we wanted to talk to the next day, I made sure you were the first name on my list. Each day that I saw your name on a party list, I got more and more excited. I spent the next couple of days watching you, in the least creepy way possible, meet my sisters, see my house, and learn about our philanthropy. I just knew that at the end of the week it would be me who you would run to, screaming and crying and waving your bid card around. It would be me getting the midnight phone call asking if I wanted to take you as my little. I imagined all the cute crafts I would make you for your dorm. I imagined how many awesome big/little dates we'd go on. I imagined you sharing the secrets of my fraternity.

And then you were gone.

Bid day came and I searched the list three times for your name. No luck. You were gone. Not in my chapter. I was devastated. Now who would I pick up on bid day? Would anyone run to me? What had I done wrong? I thought you wanted to be my sister. I thought you belonged with us. I understood then why we're always taught not to develop rush crushes. And then as I stood outside our house, waiting for our new members, I saw you rush past me. I saw the pure delight in your eyes as you ran two houses down and embraced your new sisters. I saw you laugh and cry and smile from ear to ear at the thought of finding your home. My feelings of sadness disappeared. I realized how selfish my dismay had been. Just because I had found my home in this chapter, doesn't mean that you would too. It was unfair of me to assume that just because I liked you, and we had a good conversation, it meant that I was what you were looking for. Maybe you had found someone you had even more in common with. Maybe you had found where you could truly wanted to be. Isn't that why we all choose to go through recruitment? To find where we belong? To find those girls who will be there for us, who will push us, who will build us up and be a shoulder to cry on? To find our home. With this realization, dear rush crush, I relinquish my borderline obsession with you. I wish you the best of luck in your new adventures. I hope that you have found everything you were looking for in a sorority. I hope you learn to cherish your letters and rituals and sisters, even though they aren't mine. I hope your next four years are filled with love and laughter and enough memories to last a lifetime. I hope the sisters you have chosen are the ones who will stay with you for the rest of your life. I hope that you get out of Greek life what you put into it. I hope you have found your home. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Maybe you weren't meant to be my little or my sister. Maybe you were just meant to be my friend. And that's okay. Besides, there's no rule that says we can't be friends even if we're in different chapters. See you around the row, kid. Good luck out there.

ZLAM

Sarah