To the people who live above me,

I have long debated writing this letter, but it has come to a point where I want to tape multiple copies of it to your door. I guess I would if I didn't think they would fall off from the sheer force with which you slam that sucker. Are you trying to wake up the entire building? Pull out a tooth? Dramatically storm out after a fight with your roommate? Honestly, I don't mean to be so dense, but it is just so hard to tell at three in the morning.

While we're on the topic, I just wanted to say that I truly love when you play your music so loud that it feels like I am there with you! It really feels like a party on a Monday night when the whole ceiling is shaking and I can hear you jumping up and down. I'm not sure what year you're in, but the "bunny hop" went out of style in the eighties. However, I guess people that ride a skateboard from Hot Topic/Zumiez across the tile floor during quiet hours aren't really concerned with "style." Just a tip: maybe if you were more concerned, I'd be hearing voices of the opposite gender at odd hours rather than reruns of "Friends" and "How I Met Your Mother."

Also, I just wanted to make sure that you're alright. My pictures and assorted decorations haven't fallen off the walls in a few days. Did you lose your basketball? It really doesn't feel like home without you bouncing it 24/7. I could get you a new one, but I don't know when you'd find the time to open the door with all your partying and such.

Now, I know it takes two to tango so I want to apologize for whatever part I play in this charade. I know banging on the ceiling with my curtain rod to shut you up can be rather annoying, so I'll try to keep it to a minimum. Also, I promise to try to refrain from calling residence life on you when it is four in the morning and your playing Mario Kart is so loud. I sometimes think I'm about to cross the finish line next to Luigi.

Sincerely,

The girl who has the true pleasure of living beneath you