Yes, you read that right.
I’m not going to go on some righteously indignant rant about how problematic it is that patriarchy is so deep-rooted in society in the current year that I have a professor who feels the need to forward a romantic agenda amongst his students. I wouldn’t consider myself such a conspiracy theorist.
I will, however, go on a righteously indignant rant about how uncomfortable it makes me to hear this every week: “Did anyone get engaged over the weekend?... No engagements?... Come on, guys. Don’t be afraid to make a commitment. God has you here for a reason.”
Yes, you read that right.
On the first day of class, my professor asked us to go around the room and provide the usual: name, major, year, and hometown. My fellow classmates snickered when he also asked us to announce our relationship status. The idea was preposterous. Of course we laughed. He couldn’t possibly be serious.
He was serious.
Each person in the room proceeded to regurgitate the usual information, and pause before coming to the answer to his very strange, very personal request. Sure enough, everyone provided their answer.
“My name is Brianna Manzano; I’m an INDS major in my junior year from Rochester, NY… and I’m single…”
I’m accustomed to it now. I’m very familiar with my professor’s policy that you’re in college to find a spouse, that “I’ll help you know if they’re the one,” that “you haven’t taken my class if you don’t have a ring on your finger,” that personal information isn’t all that personal, and that romantic advice can take the place of actual teaching. (At least thirty minutes of every hour-and-forty-minute class period is dedicated to advising students on their spousal endeavors, despite its complete irrelevance from the subject of the class.)
Yes, professor; God has me here for a reason. But I can say with enormous confidence that finding a spouse is not that reason. I don’t care about my school’s “ring by spring” reputation; I don’t care about this extensive, aggressive matchmaking technique you’ve adopted; I don’t care how many married couples have met because of your methods.
I am not here to meet a spouse, and your assertions that that’s the reason why I’m here do little to acknowledge the grandness of God’s plan. You have virtually no way of knowing why God has me here, and based on your constant efforts to couple up your students, I’m beginning to believe that you can’t know why God has me here. I am here to know and love God better no matter the cost. If that involves a spouse, so be it. If not, so be it.
Right now, I am single by choice. Maybe I have more to learn about myself before I settle down. Perhaps I need to become more responsible; devote more time to future planning; develop a healthier spiritual life. Maybe I have a career-related mission to complete first. Or maybe I’m just not ready to be in a relationship. Whatever the reason, I know God doesn’t have me here to meet my spouse. I am here to know and love God better no matter the cost.
No disrespect. Thank you.
