Before I start let me explain. I have two siblings that my mom had with my dad (step-dad). These are the siblings that I have contact with regularly. My other siblings consist of six girls and 2 boys (ranging in age). These are the siblings my biological dad had after me. I am the oldest, which to some could mean the greatest, and in my book that is the case. I do not have regular contact with them, but they know I'm around. So, here is my letter to them.
Dear siblings,
Hey, your older sister here. I feel that since we were little and having that spotty contact, that things could have been different. I'm not talking in the sense of regrets, but had we been closer when we were little maybe those ties would have stayed... Tied. Now that we are older, and have had some devastating occurrences in the sibling line, it has made me reevaluate my role in our relationship.
Thank goodness for Facebook because without it I might never see what you guys have going on. I love to see your families grow and all of your successes. I want to support you in your downfalls, but something holds me back and I'm not sure what it is. However, now I have more emotions to choose from on Facebook to express my feelings towards what you post, but that's not always okay. I don't know if you feel the same as me, but I think about how I can make our relationships better and then something stops me. I reach out, and no follow through on my end. I can't and don't blame you for not reaching back out. It just seems to be what it is.
How can I be a better sister? Honestly, this is my biggest concern. I want to be that for you guys, but is it too late at this point? I know I comment on statuses and pictures, but what about a for-real phone call? Are those too much for us, or just people in general? Are our kids missing out? I am in a catch-22 almost, that I feel like I really want to be closer, but how can we be closer? We all live our lives separately, in other towns. We all grew up differently. Different parents. There are so many differences, but then we have a commonality, we are related. That should be enough to bring us together, right?
I know this is our normal, but I would still like to extend myself to you if you ever need an ear or a shoulder. If you want somewhere to visit, come and see me! I think we can make this sibling-hood work and be none-the-wiser about our past of being shut off from one another for whatever reasons. I'm not talking about stopping your lives to put forth effort in our relationship, heck we're brothers and sisters, it shouldn't take that much. Just a quick note or even a phone call. I've been using SnapChat just ask Natalie and Ashley.
Whatever we can do, let's just do it and not stop at that place that makes us not follow through! I love you guys!
