For 20 years, give or take, you have ridden my back, burdened me to the point of tears, and poisoned my thoughts.
At first, I thought you were actually there for me, that you were actually serving to help me out.
You began sweetly, encouragingly. Just a little more here, a little more there, and I'll finally be happy.
"Just lose 15 pounds. You know you could look better than you do."
"Maybe you should strive to look like her. She's athletic and pretty."
"Perhaps you shouldn't wear that. It just doesn't flatter your round face."
They all seemed innocent enough suggestions, so in my youthful mind, I determined within myself to oblige. If I wanted to be successful, I obviously had a lot of work to do.
But then, you became more persistent, your nagging more prevalent in my everyday life.
"He scored higher than you on that test? I thought you were supposed to be the smart one."
"You're going out looking like that. Good grief, a kid could've done your makeup and you'd have looked much better."
"That dress? I wouldn't be so sure if I were you."
You bent me and you beat me, distorted and warped my self-perception so much that the face I saw looking back at me in the mirror was no longer my own.
Sure, that person looked like me, but she couldn't be me. She looked so hopeless, forlorn, afraid. She looked so alone.
But I guess I can't put all of the blame on you. I let you in, didn't I?
I suppose I was so eager to find my self-worth, to feel worthy of something, that I let you manipulate me into one of your little puppets. I was surviving -- no longer living a full life like I had intended to.
You let me blame myself for the longest time.
It was my fault I couldn't be happy with how I looked, how I performed academically, how many friends I had.
But I know better now.
In spite of your trying to hold me back, to keep me down, you forgot one very important thing.
Shall I remind you?
I am a daughter of the One True King. In other words, in case you don't understand, I am God's princess, His baby girl, the apple of His eye.
Still confused? Let me explain. That means you no longer have a hold on me.
You can throw my past at me, you can whisper your venomous lies in my ear, but for each condemnation you slap me with, Christ offers an abundance of love and grace.
I am His, and He is mine.
You no longer have any say in how I live my life or in how I see myself. I was formed by the Creator's hands in my mother's womb, and He knew me before time.
So, you see? I am not your captive any longer, fear and doubt.
I am free, liberated through my Savior and saved from your curse.
Goodbye forever,
Child of God
