My future man,
First of all, let me say I’m so happy I found you. It has been a long time coming, and I have been trying to make myself the best person I can be for you. Physically, mentally, emotionally, I have become stronger and better prepared for our adventures together in this past year by myself.
I guess I should get some apologies out the way now. I’m sorry for the numerous nights I spent watching "The Bachelor," doubting any man could ever be as amazing as Ben Higgins. I’m sorry for the numerous days I got lonely and went out with guys I knew weren’t you, but just wanted to pass the time. I’m sorry for all the kisses I’ve given out to the frogs, because my prince was taking too damn long to come. I’m sorry for obsessing over the last guy in my life for far too long, when I should have been obsessing about finding you. I’m sorry if you’re someone I’ve known for a while and I’ve just been too oblivious or uninterested to give you a chance. I’m sorry for the countless chick flicks I will make you watch. I’m a little less sorry about the dozens of romantic comedies you’ll be sitting through with me -- just to clarify, rom coms and chick flicks are not the same. Rom coms have comedy, chick flicks do not. Therefore, all rom coms are chick flicks, but not all chick flicks are rom coms. For example, "The Notebook" is classified as a chick flick but not a rom com. And I’m sorry that if you’re with me, you will know all that, no doubt. I’m sorry for all the times I’ll sing in the shower when you’re trying to read, I’m sorry for all the times I’ll kiss you in public when you hate PDA, and last of all, I’m sorry for ever questioning your existence.
As I write to my future man, I envision a Zac Efron lookalike, sitting in dark jeans and a tight white V-neck shirt, let’s say he’s lying in bed next me, reading the words on this page. Having said that, I could just as happily be with a Ryan Gosling lookalike, or an Eric Decker lookalike, or maybe not even a lookalike at all (it’s just hard to picture you without a placeholder for now). The point is, I’ve pictured you. And I’ve imagined our Marshall and Lilly “destined to be together” kind of love; our Meredith and Derek “Post-it note” framed above our bed; our Edward and Bella “can’t live without you” kind of passion. I don’t say that to scare you, because if you’re truly as amazing as I assume you will be, you won’t scare that easy. I say that because I want you to know that you are everything I’ve ever wanted. When I yell at you for recording over my "Bachelor" episodes, or tell you I don’t care where we go for dinner and then spend a half hour rejecting your suggestions, I want you to know you’re more important than any of that. I could watch ridiculous action movies and eat nothing but PB&J for the rest of my life if it was with you. I mean, realistically I won’t, but I could.
I hate not knowing you. I hate missing out on whatever is going on in your life right now. I hate being in the same world, but not in the same place. I hate not being able to cheer you up when you lose a football game, or celebrate with you when you ace a test. I don’t want to miss your next birthday or think about you being with another girl, but I know that everything happens for a reason, and you need to have that birthday and be with that girl to eventually end up with me. “Everything that happens in this world happens at the time God chooses.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1) And whether He chooses to put us on a subway together in one day, or let us meet in line at Starbucks in one month or maybe have a friend set us up on a blind date in one year, I will wait for you. I will be everything you ever wanted, because I already know you’re everything I have and so much more. And as cheesy as this article is, just thinking about you makes me smile, and this week I really needed a reason to smile. So, thank you in advance.
Much love,
Ali
