Dear You,

You may wonder why I’m writing this, I’m wondering why I’m writing this. It’s been three months since you left.Three Whole Months and all I can ask is why? Why did you leave me? I don’t understand. You promised me no matter what you’d never leave. But you did. You left.

You were my best friend for two years. Two freaking years. I fell in love with you the day I met you and kept it myself because you had a girlfriend and I respected that. It took me until April 8, 2015 to actually tell you I was in love with you and when I did, I expected you to hate me and to never talk to me again. But you didn’t you started flirting. You started talking, you even drove three and a half hours to see a concert and spend the whole weekend with me. I told you I had problems. That I had severe anxiety and I will say things I don’t mean. You knew that going in and said you could handle it. That weekend when you left, you left a small bottle with a letter that took forever to get out. It was your way of saying “I love you” and it was the most romantic thing anyone has ever given me. You told me you saw an "everything" with me. Now looking back I think, was all that just a lie?

When your mother found out you were with me, she wasn’t the happiest. In fact, she didn’t talk to me for three months. That internally killed me because I adored her with everything I had in me. But when you chose me over her, it was honestly the most amazing thing ever considering you’d never choose anyone over her. I thought you were the real deal. I stayed even though it was really tough at times, I stayed because I was in love with you. You were my person. My everything.

In August I took you to see my father. I’d never done that. My own best friend of three years hadn’t even gone out there with me. I’ve never taken a soul out there. That was, until you. I brought you out to see him, I showed you a side I haven’t even shown my own family. But when it came to you you, it came so natural. I’m glad I got to share that with you, because you mean a lot to me. I showed you a side of me that was so vulnerable and you made me feel secure with telling you that side. Where is that guy?

School started and you started to change so much. Then, two months later you had landed yourself a job. You went from talking to me always to ignoring me and making plans with other people or sleeping or helping out all the time at the local high school. You basically left me behind for a new life. I lost you. We argued and most of the time, and I blame myself for that. We spent more time arguing than actually hanging out and I know I’m partially to blame. I was jealous. Jealous I could never see you, jealous that you had a new group of friends and I wasn’t included. Jealousy took over in me because I was so used to spending all my time with you. I was used to always being with you, and you always answering me. People gave me advice, told me to give you space and to not blow your phone up 24/7. I’d listen for 24 or 48 hours but I couldn’t help it. I had to text you, I mean for God’s sake you were my best friend. I told you everything. But everything else and everyone else were more important. She was more important.

Then that night, when I thought everything was just fine and you were just tired, You broke my heart in a Wendy’s parking lot. You said I deserved someone who could give me time and had more energy, etc.. You gave me all these excuses as to why you weren’t good enough for me then told me I needed to change. Yeah I knew I had a lot to work on with myself and I was working on it and still am to this day. But you never said you had a lot to work on. You said I had a lot to work on. But the truth is, you’re immature. You’re a child. And I know that you need to work on your communication skills.

As I think back on how badly I missed you, I don't miss this "you" that you've turned into. You're not the same person you were when I told you how I truly felt. You used me. You used that against me. You knew I'd literally do anything for you and yet instead of using me in a good way, you threw me under the bus. You were selfish and honestly it's sad.

The point of this article wasn't to put you on blast, but more as "closure." I hope that when you truly meet your "true love" you will treat her so wonderful like you did with me. I hope that she's everything you've hoped for and dreamed of. Because you honestly deserve it. I'll always be here for you like I was back then. I'll always care and apart of me will always love you. But as time goes on, I have moved on, and you have moved into the back of my head. And it means that I've accepted it, accepted us.

I hope you're happy today and always.

Love,

Me