Dear Brooke,
First off, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I just stopped writing one random week. I’m sorry that I didn’t communicate with you. I’m sorry that I ignored your super friendly GroupME messages about article reminders. I’m sorry that I didn’t give Odyssey the only hour a week it required of me to write. I’m sorry that the Odyssey dropped to a lower priority of mine.
While I of course feel bad for ignoring the Odyssey for the past 6 weeks, I also regret it. When I was upset about losing my dog, stressed about finals, and anxious to come home for winter break, I still don’t understand why I turned away from writing. For so long, it has been my protection; my savior from the stresses of daily life. Instead of using the Odyssey as my outlet to let my thoughts escape and my mind free itself, I put it on the back burner and slowly watched the flames rise. I erroneously convinced myself that I didn’t have the time to write and only ended up hurting myself in the long run.
Alongside an apology, I also owe you a sincere thank you. Thank you for always being so understanding and cooperative with me in the weeks when I did communicate with you. Thank you for praising my articles and consistently encouraging me to take a leap of faith in my writing- one that I’m generally too afraid to take on my own. Thank you for letting me know that I’m not alone when I tell you that I can’t write because I don’t know what to write about. Finally, thank you for not removing me from our Odyssey team after I randomly decided to take a vacation without telling anyone.
As I sit here thinking about when I stopped writing, I realize that it probably wasn’t just a lack of time that caused my break. Though I don’t want to admit it, I think that deep down, my voice as a writer was a bit blurred. Sure, I had a bunch of ideas swirling through my mind, but when it was time to sit down and write, I had nothing. I couldn’t find my voice strong enough in any potential topic.
After six weeks of not writing, I think that I’ve experienced one of the greatest challenges facing a writer- wanting to write, but not being able to; having things to say, but not knowing how to say them; hoping to share your story, but afraid of removing the sheet of protective glass between you and the world.
Now, though, my mind is refreshed and I’m excited to write again. As I’ve recently learned, I can’t promise that I’ll write every single week, but I can promise that I’ll try.
Brooke, thank you again for all of your support, encouragement, and patience that you constantly give to me. They mean more to me than you know and are the prime reason as to why I’m still able to stand back up and start writing again. Happy holidays!!
