Earlier this week during class, my professor looked us straight in the eye and asked "Would the kid you used to be still be proud of you?" She left the room and that was it. A class of 180 or so students were left to ponder these deep words. Some brushed it off, but that hit me deep, and it got me thinking, would my younger self be proud of the opinionated young woman I have become? I'm not sure if there is any good way to answer, but here it goes...
Dear Younger Self
I hope I have lived up to your expectations, I know you set them as high as the sky. Your dream was never a fairy tale prince and a "happily ever after" that most little girls your age dream of. No, you wanted so much more than that.
From the first moment you could speak you were driven and focused. You obsessed about making a future for yourself, about succeeding and thriving. People judged you for being too serious, but you brushed it off because they just did not understand. You put your heart and soul into everything you pursued because the best reward was knowing you made your Mom proud. You never cared about finding a boyfriend or getting caught up in the drama of teenage girls. You wanted something so much greater, and could not wait to get out and discover the world on your own. You deserve nothing less of these dreams, and you have worked so hard to get reach them.
I am writing to let you know you are doing everything you dreamed of and more. It is your first year in college and you are really going places! You are trying new things, making new friends and getting involved. You have found a place where you can be your voice can be heard and you are growing into the strong independent woman you were raised to be. Let me tell you, you made Mom proud, and I only hope I can continue to make her just as proud every single day.
I want you to know that your strength and dedication have steered you on the right path. Unfortunately things will not get easier, in fact things will get so hard that you will second guess your every decision. People will doubt you and make you question your self worth, you will change your mind so many times, and you will want to give up and run back to your comfort zone. Relationships (both friends and significant others) will be tested, and to be honest not many of them will last, but that's how life works. Just remember that family is always going to be there for you, they are your greatest cheerleaders!
Despite all the odds, you are chasing your dreams and forming your own educated opinions about this society. I have complete faith that you will one day make a fine doctor, teacher, journalist, ballerina or whatever other path you decide to pursue. Ignore the haters, you deserve so much better and they aren't worth a minute of your time. Remember that grades do not define your worth, I know you will roll your eyes at this, but try to cut yourself some slack, it is okay if you don't reach every high expectation you set for yourself. Try to have fun once in a while, be adventurous, push boundaries, and be confident in everything you pursue. Despite all of these obstacles, I know you will go far.
I hope I have made you proud, oh I hope I have made you so proud of everything I have done. You set some pretty high standards (and should never do anything less) and I have done my very best to reach them all. I got good grades and was able to choose the kind of education I wanted to receive. I am strong, independent, and opinionated. I am no where near perfect, I second guess myself and am sometimes scared of what the future holds. But the best part of all of this is that I am doing it all on my own, and loving every moment of this adventure. I really do think you would be proud of me.
Life is not always going to be easy, but that's just what makes it even more exciting, so enjoy every moment.
Love,
Your older (maybe a little wiser) self
