Dear Father,

I hope you are happy with the person you chose to become.
I hope you are happy sitting in a brick square day in and day out for the next five years.
I hope you are happy with the anxious person you created because after what you did to me, trusting other men is pretty hard to do.

It took me years to be able to trust other people, I live in a constant state of anxiety because you chose to commit a crime.
You made the decision to ruin someone else's life, but they get to pay, you just got a jail sentence. Where the sentences are no where close to the emotional damages I have to suffer from.

I suffer because of your actions.

I struggle to maintain a relationship with the person that I love because of you. I struggle to ride the subway on Friday nights because I'm afraid of being raped by a stranger. I struggle to care for the patients I'm required to care for because I'm afraid of being attacked.

But you never thought of any of that when you committed a crime against your own child.

But thirteen years later when you suddenly decide that you want a part of my life, you think you have the same custodial rights as my mother, but the truth is, you don't. As a result of the trauma, I suffered from mental illness, but all you wanted was to parent. You suddenly decided it would be in my best interest to poke the bear instead of letting me deal with my mental illness on my own. You suddenly wanted answers and explanations to my actions.

So thank you for attempting to parent, but you don't have that right.
So thank you for attempting to ruin my life.
So thank you for attempting to make me unable to love.

But here is the really nice catch,

I am more successful at 19 years old, than you ever will be or have been.
I love a man who taught me to not just trust again, but taught me to be confident, and not just be able to love myself, but be able to love someone else.
I trust a person with my life completely because he showed me what it's like to be in a healthy relationship.

So here is a respectful screw you.
You never wanted to be involved and never should have attempted to get involved, but that's okay. I find a way to bend the rules, and beat the statistics I had absolutely no chance of beating.

Sincerely,

The daughter that is more successful than you :)