"Long ago, but not so very long ago

The world was different, oh yes I was...

Time goes by, time brings changes, you changed

too

Nothing comes that you can't handle, so on you go

You never see it coming when the world caves in on you."

- "Our Town" song by James Taylor

Let me start with the day we met at Band Camp my freshman year. I remember running up behind one of my fellow clarinet players who you just happened to be walking with. You asked her who her "shadow" was, so she told you my name, and you introduced yourself. When we departed, I was in such a good mood because you were so nice to me.

Fast forward to marching band practice a few weeks later when I saw and remembered you. I ran up to you afterward, and we walked back to the band room together, talking. Then after that, we saw each other all the time- several times a day- in the halls at school. You became one of the nicest guys I knew, always saying hi to me when we passed each other.

How a senior guy like you could have been friends with a freshman girl like me I never really understood.

I was always a little shy around you; you were older than me, you were a (social) senior guy, and…you were good looking. Just about everything I said in response to something you said was something like, "Uh-huh", or "Yeah", or "Oh…". But I always liked seeing you and being around you. I began to develop a mild crush on you; I tried to stop it because I knew I would end up with a broken heart when you graduated, but I couldn't help it!

I still dreaded the idea of graduation because I knew that was when I had to say goodbye to you and your other classmates I became friends with. It was also a reminder that I would not see you at school the following year. I didn't think school or band would be the same without you.

For that reason, I didn't want to attend graduation that year, but I had to because of the band. In the end, though, I was glad I went because I was able to cheer for you when you got your diploma and then give you a big hug before I left!

I did miss you the following year. But thankfully, I still got to see you at a couple of events- and for each time, I gave you a big hug! I was so happy when you came back to see your friend graduate! I realized afterward that I forgot to tell you how much I missed you, and I became upset. But then I figured that was okay because it seemed like you already knew. That was the last time I saw you. That was summer 2015, and my heart still grieves for you.

I have always looked everywhere for you. Whenever I saw a car that resembled yours, I looked to see if the driver was you. Whenever I went to an event, a concert or something at your college, I looked around for you. Even in my dreams from time to time, you're there.

I just wish I could see you again. I just want to hug you really tight, maybe get your number or email, especially since I couldn't find you on any social media. Most of all, to tell you all the things you would be happy and proud of me for.

So, here they are: I have a summer job as a lifeguard, I'm at a good four-year college, I'm majoring in Sociology with a minor in Women's & Gender Studies, I'm growing in my newly found faith, I experienced my first relationship over the summer, and I write.

I thought about you recently (as I usually do from time to time), wondered how you were doing, and I wondered if you ever thought about me.

I hope you remember me, and always will. Because I could never forget you. Stay safe. I don't know what I'd do if something bad happened to you before we could see each other again.

I love you and miss you.