I feel alone. I feel like there is no way I'll ever be okay again. And love, I wish I didn't have to end when it did.
Oh, love, everything reminds me of you. My favorite dinner since I was a kid that my mom cooked when you visited. My bed, where you used to play with my hair and tell me about your dreams. My car, where we'd scream the lyrics to Mr. Brightside and you'd hold my hand so tenderly. My own campus, where I showed you my favorite places and the people who mean so much to me. My perfume, which you called intoxicating and sniffed gently as I hugged you. Nothing is off limits.
And love, I want you to know you meant something to me. Our time together was so special and I wouldn't change the memories we have.
And love, I want you to know your mom still talks to me and part of me still wants you. But in the end, I have changed and I have grown. We're not who we used to be.
And love, I'm moving on...as you will too. Eventually, I'll get to a point where I stop thinking about you. And those beautiful eyes and that half smile. I'll stop seeing your silly faces in my mind. I'll stop picking up the phone, tempted to call again. I'll be okay, love.
Because, love, as John Green once wrote, "some infinities are bigger than other infinities." I'm happy with my choices.
And love, I bought new sheets to rid my room of the times we shared. I found a new signature scent, equally entrancing. I unfollowed, deleted pictures and put my phone down. I bought myself flowers. I told myself I was beautiful. But, love, I don't think I could ever truly forget about you.
Love, maybe I'll see you again someday. Walking out of a trendy coffee shop in New York City with a beautiful girl on your arm. Maybe I'll see you in an airport, trying to handle your three young, restless kids. Maybe we'll end up attending each other's weddings. Maybe we won't. Maybe I'll never see you again.
But, love, I do know you changed me for the better. And I know you were a part of my life when you were for a reason. And for that, I could never hate you.
And love, I wish you happiness. And I hope you get everything you want in this world. And I hope you wish the same for me.