I believe that people enter and exit each other's lives for a reason and whether for good or bad, there is always something to be learned. It has taken me a while to process what I am about to write, as it was a very tough situation to go through and has made me reevaluate who I trust and let into my life. Well, it's time I open up about it, because I know I'm not alone in this and that everyone deals with this situation at one time or another. So, to the person that I once called my best friend, my soul sister, this one's for you.

Dear ex-best friend,

I am starting off by saying that I do not believe our friendship was ever a mistake. We did share many great memories, many laughs, many moments. Rather, our friendship was more of a life lesson, as you showed me the type of person to never associate myself with. Looking back, I realize that you were, in fact, never a real friend to me at all. I have a strong feeling we will never talk again. So I have a few words that I would like to get off my chest that I should've said a long time ago.

For starters, in high school, I was very insecure, very shy, very scared. I wanted so desperately to have close friends and when you came into my life, I believed I had found just that, a true friend, even a sister. Early on, our friendship was amazing. We laughed and joked constantly about just anything and there was never a dull moment with you. Your family treated me like one of their own and I remember so many great times we all shared. Yes, at the beginning you were what I had always wanted in a friend.

A year went by, things started to get rocky. We still were so close but suddenly started to feel so far. True colors were finally showing I guess. You started to become manipulative, rude, and downright disrespectful, not just to me but to everyone around you. I would sit and listen to you go on for hours about practically any issue you were dealing with and offer my best advice, though you never once took it or ever thought to ask me how I was doing (I was actually doing pretty awful, thank you for never asking). Our times together suddenly turned into sessions where you would only talk about yourself, or worse, talk poorly of others-pretty much everyone-all the time. Even when I would try to change the subject you'd find a way to go right back to hate-talking. Why you thought that was entertaining I will never understand. I hope you know it sickened me to the core every time you had something nasty to say. Why I thought you were still a good friend at that point, I will never understand.

One regret I have about our "friendship" is how I just sat back and let you say such horrible things about others, our mutual friends, and me. I sat back and sometimes even defended you when I should have ended things with you right there. But you know why I didn't? Because I wanted so desperately to believe you were still my best friend, and I thought you would eventually come around. There's nothing worse than being in a friendship with someone who only talks about their problems and their needs, all the while acting superior to everyone around them. It was as if it almost brought you joy to label people, hate-talk, and act above-it-all. And what did I do?

Nothing. Just that. I did nothing.

I am practically just as at fault because of my decision to do nothing. I did nothing when you bad-mouthed our other friends. I did nothing when you manipulated that sweet guy who liked you. I did nothing when you gossiped about peoples' personal lives. I did nothing when you called one girl fat behind her back. I did nothing when you gossiped about one girl's sex life. I did nothing when you spread information about peoples' private problems like it was the daily news. I could go on. But worst of all,

I did nothing when this was directed at me.

Never again will I allow myself to be close with someone who, in their free time, spews such horrible things about others or treats me as if I'm less-than. I let you bully me, lead me around like I was some charity project to pity on. Sometimes I feel like you only hung around me because I made you feel superior. You were bluntly condescending, and had no hesitations, for instance, calling me fat when we would go shopping, weak when I would feel insecure about anything, or a prude since at that point in my teenage life I wasn't prioritizing dating and wasn't as "experienced" as you. No one deserves that and someone who enjoys such ill behavior is not someone I want to know. A true friend doesn't put their friend down like you did. I guess that's why so many of your other friends left, but I clung on to the hope that the girl I thought I knew would come back.

Senior year of high school was likely the worst year of my life and the times I needed a friend, someone to listen, to cry with, to lean on, you were not there. You would just brush off my problems or worse, gossip about them, instead of being the friend I needed. I let you put down my hobbies, my goals, my family-who bent over backward for you by the way, but still for some reason, I kept you in my life.

It wasn't until we went off to college that I realized what not-a friend you were and what a true friend actually is. I met people who, after only a few weeks of knowing me, proved to be better friends than you ever were after four years. Our contact grew more distant because unfortunately, you became worse than ever. Now, whenever we hung out you would continuously spew negative information about people and talk about certain things to either make me feel jealous or hurt. You always brought up painful memories from high school-ones that I worked so hard to forget and move past-as if you enjoyed seeing me miserable. You used me. No longer did you see me as a friend but rather as your scapegoat. And you wondered why I was slowly cutting you off?

The day our friendship ended was a day I will never forget. I won't go into detail. You know what you did. I know what I said. I don't regret it. But basically, I finally understood that you would never change and were not someone who I wanted in my life from that point on. When I knew our friendship was over for good, it was as if a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. It was very freeing. I knew I let go of someone who bode no positivity on my life whatsoever.

However, even after we stopped being friends you still managed to hurt me, only this time by making me out to be this horrible person to everyone in our hometown. I know what you and your family have said about me to others, all the lies and hate they've spread about me and my family, but you know what? I don't care. I don't care at all. You and your family can talk all you want. I have moved on. I am happier than I have ever been and am so appreciated, valued, and cared for by so many amazing people. I know that ending our friendship was the best thing for both of us, but what continues to confuse me is how when it had happened you suddenly were so shocked and angry. Honestly, if you actually took the time to analyze how you treated me I don't think you would've been so surprised.

So that's it then. I have finally said what I should have said to you in person. Maybe you'll read this, maybe not. All I know is that through knowing you, I now know what separates a loyal and true friend from a fake one. You can hate me for the rest of your life, you can talk about me for the rest of your life, I could honestly care less. Toxic people are sometimes unavoidable, but they do serve as valuable life lessons. Writing this letter has finally given me the peace I've needed to let go of this whole situation.

I guess this is goodbye then, the goodbye that should have happened years ago.

Sincerely,

Your once-best friend